Mental Health

All or none!

I remember one of the many times my husband thought I should stop drinking or “slow down”.

We were at a restaurant for dinner and drinks. He was still in denial that I had a serious drinking problem. As many co-dependents do this because neither of us understand. We both know I needed to either stop or keep in control.

He said, “Can’t you just have a couple and stop?” My reply was,” all or none ” I knew this and I knew I had a serious problem but I was still at the stage where I thought I could deal with it on my own.

We went through the whole, oh I never ate dinner last night, or, maybe it’s the wine that effects me and makes me blackout and not remember the evil that I would turn into. Let’s start diluting the booze. Ya, obviously it didn’t work!

I never drank socially, I drank to get drunk, really drunk. What’s the point of drinking if your not going to have the effects? Seemed like a waste and totally boring!

I had my drink of choice for the evening, music and the phone until I finally went to bed or a fight broke out because I wouldn’t wait til morning to “talk”. My husband hated talking to me when I was drunk and hated watching me torment myself and everyone else around.

Looking back on that as I often do, I’m glad I finally chose “NONE”

This is, Being Me Sober