Category: Mental Health

Mental Health

The Break-Up

beingmesober

Hello fellow warrior’s! I hope you are all striving to be your best selves.

Breaking up, ugh the pain is horrible. Its never ending. The crippling anxiety and heartache. You question everything about yourself. Was it me? 🤔 You don’t think you’re ever going to have anything good in life.

Doesn’t that sound familiar? It’s the same as removing alcohol from your life. Having to be forced to be without something is going to make you grieve. It will be the same cycle as grief.

Your going to be accepting it at first, you’ll cry, or feel sad that you can no longer have this be a part of your life anymore. Then the anger sets in, and your pissed that you can’t drink! Everyone drinks! But not everyone drinks like us warrior’s do…not good! Then you feel little sputter flutters of happiness and literal excitement. You’re starting to feel proud of yourself and physically notice a difference. Your complexion is glowing, your eyes are sparkling and that smile is back and boy, do you look good!

These emotions were what I went through very early on in my first year of removing alcohol from my life. Breaking up is an example that I can use to explain to others when they are experiencing these outbursts of emotions and have no clue why.

These emotions we go through in recovery don’t last forever. You have to know it absolutely gets better. You’ve got to push through, surrounding yourself with good support groups. Take your time with yourself and most importantly, LOVE yourself.

This is, Being Me Sober

Mental Health

The first thing that comes to mind

beingmesober

Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.

Ugh, another day in the car. 8hrs today. Temps going from 93° to a balmy 45° as we make our trek back up North from Florida.

We are lucky and get to spend 6 months in Florida and 6 months back home in Ontario, Canada. Every year for the past 15 years we’ve made the 22hr drive to paradise. We spent 15 years in Ft. Lauderdale and moved to the West Coast in November to be closer to our oldest daughter, her husband and their 2 boys. My father lived on the West Coast since 97 and moving there was another reason. We managed to make amends and get back to each other but unfortunately he passed away before the move. Even though hes no longer here, I still feel close to him and can visit his cript any time. I guess another first thought would be my dad. Feeling as if I’m leaving him behind. If you’ve read my other blogs you can see its been quite a ride with him. My heart is full of sadness and peace at the same time.

I know hes guiding us now and keeping us safe 🙏.  As we drive through all the states and city’s, over the bridges and through the beautiful mountains I sit and gaze out the window singing along to all the music, I swear I know every song, and cherish every memory I have with my dad traveling down these same roads and asking the question, “Are we there yet?”

This is, Being Me Sober

Mental Health

A decision I made that helped me learn and grow.

beingmesober

Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.

Decisions, decisions. We all have decisions to make, some major changes or little changes over time.

The one decision I’ve made over the last while are setting boundaries. Boundaries for things or people that aren’t aligned with you. Boundaries for respect and being treated the way you deserve.

I’ve been setting boundaries around people since I’ve been in recovery. It took a long time for me to see and accept that these people were not growing as I was. They were still stuck in their old ways, their lifestyle hadn’t changed and no longer offered the type of love or recognition I deserved. I couldn’t stand by and watch or hear the lies and betrayal. I couldn’t accept the fact that there was no accountability for actions that were done. I couldn’t play the game any longer. I couldn’t keep the secrets and pretend everything was as it looked. I had to walk away, slowly, until I realized this isn’t something I want to do anymore. I was tired of fighting to be seen and heard. I was tired of him choosing alcohol over his family. Over himself.  I was just so tired.

I was exhasted and sick of fighting for myself and what I deserved. Finally, I woke up and chose myself instead of forming to what others wanted me to do or be. I was tired of the people closest to me treating me like their punching bag and saying whatever they wanted to me.

Since I was little I’ve been subjected to verbal and physical abuse. That left me feeling extremly insecure. It allowed me to accept things that a stronger version of myself would not tolerate. I was living in fear, flight or fight mode for so long until I made the decision to change it. Until I was healthy enough, until my mind and eyes were clear. No haze, no denial. The more I got better the more I couldn’t accept this behavior towards me. It was time I stood up for myself no matter who it was that I had to walk away from in order to learn and grow.

There will be more hard decisions I will have to make as time goes on but I am learning to only accept those that have respect and offer me the same as I offer them, people or things that elevate me, bring me peace and stability.

The one decision I made to want better for myself and my inner being was never an easy one because walking away meant no more talking, no more visits, no more acknowledgment from the one person I depended on more than life itself. The one person who was my best friend and confidant. The one person I held secrets for for so many years. The one person that truly held my heart. My dad. I’ve never felt a true heart ache until I walked away and got no phone call or message asking where I went or what was wrong. I waited so many years for him to acknowledge me and that never came. It really opened my eyes to the true man he was. Lost in his own trauma that he never made the decision to change. I could no longer be a part of his trauma.

This year I am being selfish and protecting myself from others unresolved trauma that they force upon me with their hurtful words or accusations. I am setting boundries to improve my life, my stability and recovery.

The decision is yours.

This is, Being Me Sober

Leisure, Mental Health

A positive thing a family member has done for me.

beingmesober

Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you.

I’d like to honor this post to my God Mother who is also my Aunt. Aunt Lee Ann. She passed away March of 2025, she was the oldest of 4 children and the sister to my father, who passed a month earlier, in February of 2025. Yes, together they left.

Aunt Lee has a son and daughter. We were extremely close growing up and still are. My cousins became like a brother and sister growing up together like that.

Lee Ann was a strict Catholic and when her 2 kids were older and had moved on with their own lives, she started getting more involved with the church, she did some tremendous work all over the world . She helped many and devoted her life to the church. While she was busy doing her life, no matter how busy or what part of the world she was in, she never let a birthday or Christmas go by without sending me a message. It had to be sent at 12:00am exactly every year so she could be the first to wish me a happy birthday 🎂, or a Merry Christmas. I was also told I made the best tea ever! Ha, til I figured out her game 🤔. Some of my favorite memories throughout my life are with her.

She played a very positive roll in my life. She guided me and helped me get through some of the worst times with my dad and our estrangement. She was the only one who totally understood where I was coming from and kept me sane pretty much.

I miss her, but I know she is up there watching over me, still guiding me. She will always be the first voice I hear on my birthday, wishing her, “favorite niece” the best birthday from her, “favorite God Mother and favorite Aunt”.

Thank You Auntie Lee 🙏🎂🎄

Leisure, Mental Health

Five everyday things that make me happy.

beingmesober

What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?

Hello fellow warrior’s!

Its hard to narrow down what brings me happiness through the day to just 5 things but here are some that bring me to a happy level.

  1. Waking up is of course the first thing that makes me happy. What the day will bring while my dog Gracie, a golden retriever, is sprawling all over me, or doing the stare from above to wait to see an eye peek open.
  2. My coffee! Aw, the smell and taste of that first sip of brewed coffee. A splash of hazelnut and the warm sensation that perks me up.
  3. Getting my morning phone calls from my kids. Sharing their day from the day before and what their plans are for day ahead. The everyday I love yous to fill my heart and put a smile on my face.
  4. Playing with Gracie in the pool or going for long trail walks.
  5. Ending the day with my husband and Gracie, with a good dinner and movie, a beautiful sunset by the beach or some good conversations under the stars and moonlight.

It doesn’t take much to make me happy. Some good conversations, laughter and love are what my happiest days are filled with. Oh, and maybe a little shopping 🛍.

Whatever your happy is, never stop!

Mental Health, Stages

Turning Seventeen….again

beingmesober

I remember turning 17, 1987! I loved being 17. I’m not sure why but it just sounded older.  What a time to be growing up. When things were more simple, fun and felt so free. Generations before us use to say how simple life used to be. It truly was back in the “olden days.”

I’m coming up on my Seventeenth year of my sobriety journey. What an accomplishment I’ve made, together, with the ones who stayed.

So much has come from me letting go and  refusing to let alcohol run and ruin my life and those around me. I’ve developed really great relationships, I’ve been creating art for the last 7 years and selling a few pieces. I’ve learned how to set boundaries and deal with my emotions much better than I have even upto 2 years ago. I’m maturing lol. I’m valuing myself and my worth. If I don’t get the respect I deserve than they will have no place in my life. That, that was and is extremely difficult to do. Letting go of people you love to save yourself. Letting go of old patterns and old acceptances. Its just as difficult as getting clean or sober. But, one fact always remains, to better yourself you need to let go of things or people that no longer serve you.

Over the last 17 years really exciting things have happened in my life, I have 7, yes 7 grandchildren now, I’ve discovered Art, a creative skill I never knew I had, I am chasing my passions and attending college in May.

I have accepted things the way they are and the way they were. I don’t expect more from people than they can give. No more blame. I can take responsibility of the choices I made and can put them behind me. I am able to let go of the past.

I am at peace 🙏 and growing every year.

Happy Birthday to me and all my fellow warrior’s.

#togetherwewin

Mental Health

One positive change I’ve made in my life…

beingmesober

Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

There’s so many positive changes I’ve made since the biggest change which was, giving up alcohol.

In doing that I’m becoming who I am born to be. My priorities changed, my view of life changed and my healing began.

Other changes I’ve made have been to analyze my relationships. I had to let go of certain relationships to continue healing. So that I could be a better person, mother, daughter and friend. That was a very difficult change. Letting go is never easy, especially when it’s family. But, in doing that we grow.

I finally needed and demanded to be treated with respect as a person, as a mother, as a daughter and as a friend. If I want to live a full life and be truly happy inside and out, its up to me to make the necessary changes.

If you don’t like something, change it. The outcome is almost always a positive one ✨️

Be good to yourself and those around you.

Mental Health

How I’ve adapted after the Pandemic.

beingmesober

How have you adapted to the changes brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic?

Covid! What a time. Strange and scary. So many changes.

I was really always a home body but since covid I believe I’ve become more of a home body.

I loved going shopping. Outlets, malls, the bigger the better, but now find myself ordering online, I feel overwhelmed in some stores because there just so packed. I don’t have the patience to be going through all the racks like I used to. Is it age or due to the fact we spent 2 years indoors and got use to the convenience of online shopping?

Although, Covid helped me discover art and the creative side of myself on canvas. That was a blessing. It gave some of us time to just sit and get uncomfortable and absolutely bored, but opened up areas of yourself that were hidden because we are a rushed society and have no time to spend on ourselves.

We are forced to adapt to our surroundings at times. We have to otherwise we’d go crazy or be left behind. We adapt quickly and carry on as best we can.

I’ve adapted to fist pumps instead of hugs when friends or family are not feeling well. I’ve adapted to seeing more masks on people and not finding it strange.

The one thing, several things, that are hardest to adapt to are the price increases on everything! How do we adapt to that when some don’t have the means necessary to adapt? The struggling I see with so many, my own adult children trying to make a life like we had up to 2020. Buying a house for 20/30 somethings is almost impossible to do on their own. Rent! Ha, shoe box for 1500-2000/month and getting paid min wage.

Somehow, we all adapt whether we like it or not. Forced to adapt to a new normal.

Art – “Pandemic and Politics” – Kelly Petrie -Kpz Art

Mental Health

Relationships in early recovery…..

beingmesober

Hello fellow warrior’s! I hope you’re all striving everyday and making good progress ✨️

I wanted to talk about relationships in early recovery and the set backs it can have on your very own recovery.

You’ve heard it all the time, you can’t do it alone. No matter what you’re facing in life, it doesn’t have to be about addiction, its tough at times, really tough, and we all need support.  Someone who understands what your going through and has walked through the darkness.

During early recovery, we are so fragile. Our emotions are raw and we don’t know how to deal with everything that is coming up. The high alert, the endless voices in our heads that we fight daily, the not knowing how to fill our time, the anger, the sorrow. The total lifestyle changes, the letting go of some friends and family.  Not out of spite but for our own healing.

We are vulnerable and are the first ones to offer help to others on their journey when we’ve come a little father than the person asking for help. We think we can do it together. What a great idea, we think.  Intentions are well put but the outcome can be very dangerous.

I’m referring to a friend who has reached out and is asking you to help them. They ask how you did it for the last several months and admire your ability. They ask for help and slowly start spending time together and sharing stories, going to meetings and holding each other accountable.  You’re both doing the steps to stay sober.

It is wonderful to be able to offer help to someone you care about, but you’re also taking on their sobriety. You end up worrying more about them and putting yourself and your own recovery to the side and you don’t quite understand just how fragile you are. Its not your fault you’re just trying to help and, not do it alone…

Things go really good and you’re spending maybe a little too much time together but, it seems to be working, until something triggers  one of you. Something happens that a person in early recovery can’t control and they lash out possibly at you, because you’re there. Something was said and you leave in a maddened state and take a break from each other. Now fast forward and you’re reaching out to your friend but can’t reach him for 2 days. Now, your full of anxiety, anger, quilt and worry. Your focus is now on him and not you. Its a set back for your friendship and putting your recovery at high risk. The warning bells are going off. Negative thoughts and blame to yourself comes in. Your replaying everything that has happened. You believe its your fault for his relapse, but you don’t even know if he has because you can’t reach him.

Now you have to step back and refocus back to where you were in your recovery. Detach from the friendship and concentrate on your own sobriety.

Even with your hand and heart out to help, you must help yourself first. You must set boundaries with everyone in your life. You can not overextend or give more to someone else than you give yourself. Allow yourself to heal. Be alone with yourself and be comfortable. If you’re single, especially, start dating yourself! Put something on that makes you feel good and go for coffee, go shopping, go to a meeting!

Helping is never wrong or a mistake. It is what we are here to do. Help one another but like the saying says “Until you help yourself, you can not help anyone”.

Master your own path so others can follow.

This is, Being Me Sober

Leisure, Mental Health

My favorite type of weather…

beingmesober

What is your favorite type of weather?

Let me start by saying my husband and I are Snowbirds, so I guess my favorite weather is sunny and warm with the smell of the ocean air. Sweet smell of cut grass and dewy mornings. Amazing sunsets by the water, wrapped in a shawl when the nights cool to a comfortable 70°. I love the way I feel in the sun and warmth. The smile and hellos from strangers because the weather has lifted their spirits.

However, I do love the odd rainy day to light my candles and have a zen day, to feel the calmness rain brings. Snow for Christmas and Fall for the colors and crisp mornings. The rejuvenation we feel when Fall has arrived awaiting what waits for us in the coming of a fresh start with nature and a new start for some of us.

Weather can be depressing at times and for long periods of time due to months of rain and/or cold, fridgid temps and isolation. Its important to have hobbies or distractions when weather isn’t ideal. There are options for getting through the cold, rainy, snowy months. Light therapy is a very helpful alternative to the actual sun. Join a gym, arrange a get together once a week, weather depending, to connect. Stock up on books and games.

Whatever your favorite weather is, soak it up and say Thank you to Mother Nature ✨️