Author: beingmesober

I'm finally sober! My life up until I really got sober was in one word, chaotic! I didn't know what stability was. To top off my mess of a childhood, I went straight into a marriage with more abuse and alcoholism. But, what I have today is who I am, who I've become, I am with an amazing (new) husband, we have 4 kids and our fur-baby. It has not been an easy road but I can say it was worth every fight and tear it took to get me here. Sharing my journey with you and my past is not to display it all over the place but to help someone relate to what has happened and where my mind has been while I was drinking and where it is today. Its to give insight to those suffering that if you just keep fighting you can really have the best life you were meant to have. Let's do this!
Mental Health

How does your mindset affect your financial success?

beingmesober

How does your mindset affect your financial success?

Ohhhhhh, that powerful organ in your head. That one that speaks to you. Telling you you’re a failure or a success.

Our minds can excel us or bring us to our knees. It can heal us or make us very ill. Its a vault of memories and learned skills. We train our brains and form habits and thoughts and some of us remember everything said and done to us.

Negative thoughts can impact your life and the people around you. If you keep telling yourself that you are weak, unsuccessful, ugly, fat, etc, you will be. Your thoughts become reality.  The people you choose to associate with can affect you as well.

Everyone is born to be successful in a way no one else is. Its unique to you. It doesn’t always have to be monetary, although that’s what todays topic is.

How much is determined by being financially successful? Some have very little and are successful. Successful in family, friends, helping others.

Your mind, if you listen to the negative, self sabotage, like I said will bring you to your knees. Its in you to be successful and rise above the negativity around you or in your mind.

We are all capable of being financially successful but it comes with work, determination, dedication and, the right mindset. If you tell yourself you will be successful and be “something” then you will.

If you’ve come from a place where people you love have emotionally abused you, know that what they say to you is not what you are. It is quite the opposite. I came from that and the words that were once said to me did impact how I saw myself and my success. I was told, I’m a failire, I will never amount to anything, I’m this and that. At times when something in my business went aray, which happens, I always blamed myself and those awful words came back to me circling in my mind. She was right, I’m a failure. Thats what I told myself until I finally realized, NO, I’m not! I’ve raised 2 beautiful kids, I ran a successful business and I’m a good wife. Those words are on them. Those words are how they feel about themselves.

You can have anything you want in this world if you just work hard, be grateful and honest. Be happy with who you are. Don’t listen to the harsh words that were never meant for you, don’t ever listen to the voice that tells you you can’t or your not worthy of it. Take whatever makes you happy and successful and run with it. Take your passion and make it grow.

Be kind to yourself and have faith in what you do. ✨️

What makes you rich is not always about money. Its just a state of mind.

Leisure, Pets

If my dog could talk, this is what she would say…

beingmesober

If your pet could talk, what would be the first thing it says?

Our golden retriever Gracie is so full of life. She has so much energy and is ready for any date. Her absolute favorite activity other than hunting for the perfect stick to demolish or playing hide and seek with her ball, her favorite activity is swimming.

The first thing Gracie would say is, “Take me to the beach!” Her absolute favorite is crashing the waves or chasing the birds until she realizes they win every time.

Gracie is our second Golden. Our first, Molly, was my sobriety emotional support and she did such an amazing job. She is now an angel with her earned wings.

Gracie came to us in 2023 and she is a beautiful AKC big ball of fluff and a cuddle bug.  We got her down in Florida before Christmas and she has brought so much joy to our life. Gracie is also a sort of therapy dog for our daughter in her recovery.

My husband asked after we lost our Molly, why and how could I go through another loss like we are with Molly? I said , because of all the love they give and coming home to a dog is something noone can describe, unless you own a dog. The greetings and happiness they show us. The instant we see them the world melts and it’s all about the pets and kisses. I have always had a dog. Not having one would be so miserable. Gracie keeps me active, she sits with me and keeps me company while the hubby works. She’s also a great listener.

If Gracie could talk, oh boy, I don’t think she’d ever stop lol. I think I prefer her little growls or moaning when she wants my attention.

Mental Health, Leisure

What being an Author has been like….

beingmesober

It’s funny labeling myself as an Author. I’ve had many labels, or worn many hats, in my career path. Some career choices I’ve made along the way haven’t been “the one”, and I’m okay with that. I’ve been able to experience so many valuable lessons and knowledge from those positions in my life.

I’ve been a hair stylist, creating hair styles. I’ve been a stay at home mom (favorite career choice btw), I was a school bus driver, so I could bring my kids with me and still earn an income. I then opened my own cleaning company and ran it successfully for 12 years. Employed 5 people and made a lot of customers happy. I’ve been a Real Estate Agent and loved every minute of it.

When I resigned from RE, it was because of a lifestyle change my husband and I had/have. Being away 6 months of the year in one place and 6 in the next was conflicting with RE so I resigned.

It was when Covid hit that I discovered my art which led me to wearing another hat of an Author of a published Children’s Book(s), one in the works.

I have to say it’s been totally different from anything I’ve done, but I know everything I’ve been through and done has led me to write. To help others. To send a message. To relate.

I want to spread messages of help. How to help. To encourage children. The young and vulnerable, vulnerable to too much. I want to instill good into the world and this is the way I can get my message to so many.

It’s a lot of work and it doesn’t just magically appear in schools, in parents hands or children’s hands. I myself have to get infront of people and share my message.

I was very nervous at first, reading to a large group of….children…I know, it should be easy but it was a tad scary. Anything new and good should make us a little scared. I got threw it and was relieved but proud. It was a great turn out and got my book into the library!

I love being an Author and creating stories. I also love being able to touch just one person, or many with my message of being kind, accepting others and friendship. My next book is about bullying. Based on a true story about me and my childhood dog Bonnie. I also hope to one day write a book about life’s challenges and sobriety. 

If you’re thinking of writing, I’m here to offer any advice I can!

Happy reading!

This is Being Me Sober

Mental Health

Learn to Love what you’ve been through…

beingmesober

My husband will say he feels sorry for me and my past. I always respond saying, “Don’t feel sorry for me. Thank you though for your concern and empathy.”

What I’ve been through has given me strength and resilience I never knew I had in me.

I’ve forgiven and tried my best to understand why the people who loved me the most could hurt me the most.

I’m a 70s born Gen X, who along with the others grew ourselves up. The latch key kids. The generation that went out and stayed out til the street lights came on. Our parents had no idea where we were. My grandmother always told me to keep a quarter in my pocket so I could call home if I was in trouble.

I love the generation I grew up in. We were so free.

That generation was still “quiet” though. No one  talked of abuse or mental health issues. It stayed in the home and we thought it was normal. When someone would speak of it, people would question their validity of the accusations. It wasn’t discussed in public, it was not acceptable to speak of such things.

I was 4 when I knew what I seen was very wrong. I was 8 when I said no more. I was 15 when I confronted my father and said what I thought. I was 18 when I was forced to be independent. 

I was the child that spoke up when I had enough. I was the teenager who spoke her truth and stood up for all women. I was the adult full of anger, secrets that were ready to be revealed, full of sorrow, defense and alcoholic.

I am now free. I am free of my past. Free of alcohol. Do I regret it? NEVER.

What we go through in life is what builds us. Either we do better and want better or we continue the same cycle for generations to come. I wanted way better for myself. The life I had growing up was something that taught me to respect myself, never let people hurt me physically or mentally, treat my children with love and support no matter what. It taught me that if and when I fell, I will get back up. My past taught me a lot and made me who I am and what I stand for.

There will always be people who have worse situations than us. Take what you’ve had and use it as a lesson. Do better and be better.

Don’t be sad or drown in it. Take it and use it to go forward and be successful. Take it and make it powerful and meaningful. Take it and change it.

Love the life you’ve been given. Only you can do that.

This is Being Me Sober

Leisure, Mental Health

Something I do completely different from how I was raised…

beingmesober

What’s something you do completely differently from how you were raised?

I have 2 very different parents. My dad was so young at heart and always wanted to have fun but instilled such good morals and values, he was easy going and easy to talk to and share anything with. My mom, yikes. She was very strict, quick tempered and closed minded. Not easy to speak to about pre-teen, teenage girl problems. She was abused as a child and with no therapy the trauma just continued down the line onto me. Until I did something different, nothing would change. I would continue the generations of abuse.

My father was also abused but he never directed that anger towards me, just his wives. Again, no therapy, trauma continues down the line along with alcoholism and mental health issues such as depression, anxiety etc.

I always made an oath with myself growing up. Number 1 – No man will ever abuse me or my children. Number – 2 – I will never mentally or physically abuse my children. I will be open and remember what it was like for me at that age. They will be well mannered and respect authority and their elders.

My parents both raised me to have manners and respect people. Don’t make fun or hurt others and do not lie. Always tell the truth. If you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all. The core morals and manners.

With my kids I raised them in a way that they could always count on me, they never have to question my judgement, they never have to wonder if I would leave them. I raised them to be strong adults and with good work ethic. I raised them to be who they wanted to be and to never question their ability of what was possible for them. I raised them to know that family is everything and no matter what we can always work it out. I raised them to get through the hard stuff together and don’t run, face it head on.

The hardest job in the world is being a parent. There’s no manual or You-Tube video to guide you through the next 50 + years of being a parent. Just because they turn 18, doesn’t mean we are done. Parenting ends the day we die. We do the best we can as parents and do better if we need to than our parents. We can not be selfish when we have children because as soon as they are born, it is about them, your second fiddle now for awhile.

I think I can be proud of the way I raised my Son and Daughter. They are polite, funny, open, good humans and my son is an amazing father to his 3 sons. We have a great relationship with each other and gotten through the tough times. There will be more to come, I know, but I also know we always find our way back to the good times.

Leisure, Mental Health

My 5 favorite apps on my phone…

beingmesober

What are your favorite 5 apps on your phone?

My favorite 5 apps are…..drum roll please 🥁

#1 –  Should I say Jetpack? Lol. It is in my top 5 but not #1.

#1 –  Deezer. Its my music app. Its the app I go to when I’m done my coffee and ready to start my day. It plays on our Bose system throughout the house and outside! I’m never without music unless we are eating dinner and settling in for the night.

#2 – Tik Tok. I enjoy that app for the new musicians, again music, I discover while scrolling and seeing people from around the world. Time spent on the app, no longer than 30 min.

#3 – Instagram. That’s where I share my Art and my books. I’m a children’s Author and like to use that platform to get my message out about diversity, kindness and friendship.  I try to stay diligent and post to help brand Storyberry Books. You can find my published book Mingo N Bumble anywhere books are sold.

#4 – Pinterest. That’s where I spend maybe too much time? Nah! Any interest is on Pinterest!! My design soul gets a little attention too.

And finally #5 – Very Fit Watch app. Keeps track of my sleep, steps and heart rate. I will have heart palpitations sometimes due to anxiety or panic or nothing at all, and I like to check my Heart rate to make sure I’m not dropping over. I also like to have competitions with my hubby on steps. He cheats because he goes to the gym lol 😆.  The steps are also good to keep me active. My goal is to get atleast 8000 steps a day and usually get 10,000!!

Whatever your favorite apps are, always be aware of time spent on these apps. Too much of anything is never good.

Here is a good article about scrolling and Apping.

The Psychology of the Scroll: How Social Media Quietly Rewires Your Mood, Focus, and Self‑Worth

Happy Appy..

Leisure

How I deal with uncertainty?

beingmesober

How do you deal with uncertainty?

The unknown. It can give us so many stress related problems with our bodies and mental health.

Like I said in yesterday’s post about “adulting” leave it to the universe. How can we stress about something that isn’t certain?

I take what is infront of me, the things I can and do have control over. I leave the rest up to whatever is to be will be.

I think a lot of that comes with maturity, getting older and not worrying or stressing about the uncertainty. As we age we learn to let things go and concentrate on what’s there.

I don’t have the energy or patience to think of what could happen. I don’t let the uncertainty run miles in my mind stressing over something I have no idea of what’s going to happen.

We can drive ourselves crazy thinking of the scenarios that play out in our minds of the possibilities of the unknown.

Today is what I concentrate on.  Remember that song, Whatever will be, will be.

Focus on what’s infront of you, things you have control over and leave the rest up to the big guy upstairs 🙏

Leisure

What’s a moment I realized I was an adult?

beingmesober

What’s a moment when you realized you were officially an adult?

A moment I realized I was officially an adult was when I, we, my past life, bought our first house. I was so young, 23, but I now had a mortgage and a baby and I was adulting. Before that though I had been on my own for 5 years so I had to grow up fast and had to “adult”.

I’ve always felt so young. Even today at 56. I don’t feel like I’m an adult. I feel childish at times and always want to have fun. I’ve been blessed with a child like personality and see the good side of things even through the bad. I am a very happy person and love to laugh. I take life as it comes and deal with it the best I can.

That’s all part of adulting, learning to concentrate on the important things. Leave what you can’t control in the hands of the unknown. Don’t carry what isn’t yours.

Life isn’t all about adulting, make time to be silly and free your inner child but be responsible and accountable. Be a good person and instill those qualities on people around you.

I’m an adult yes, but I never forget to have fun and free my inner child!

Leisure, Mental Health

A time Machine speaking to my past self and what I would say..

beingmesober

If you had a time machine and could send just one message to your past self, what would it say?

Dear Self,

Let. it. Go.

Focus on what you have in front of you.  Give time to those who give the same time to you. Don’t blame yourself for others choices.

Leisure

Which Author would I love to have dinner with?

beingmesober

Which author would you love to have dinner with?

I can’t say any one Author I would choose, they are all so good.

My first real novel reading was started by my mom giving me a Danielle Steel book. I fell in love with her stories and the way she wrote. She kept me intrigued and excited to read her new novels. I read her for years, along with Stephen King and others. Sandra Brown is a favorite as well.

One question I would have to ask is, “How do these stories keep coming to you?”

I’m a children’s book Author and published my first children’s book in 2021. I have another book ready to go to the publishers. I keep thinking, will I run out of ideas, or will the kids and parents enjoy this new book? 🤔

My mission with these books is to show children that being different is unique. Showing kindness, empathy, and acceptance. Teaching children that we are all loved just as we are. 

I did not write these books for money or fame. I wrote them to share my message to hundreds of people all over the world.

You can check out my book at

https://books.friesenpress.com/store/title/119734000214051206/Kelly-Berry-Petrie-Mingo-N-Bumble

Bee Kind 🐝 and smile.