Are you a pleaser? Do you put yourself out there for people no matter what you have going on or how you really feel about it.
Over the years of being sober and being able to see things a whole lot clearer, I notice myself going out of my way or agreeing to things I really don’t want to do, just to keep things moving smoothly. I don’t want an argument or to upset the other person. Am I scared or nervous to speak up because of the fear I had put in front of me at 4 years of age? Why do I feel so strong but yet afraid of conflict?
When I drank I would choose to vent, Oh, not in a nice way, about why they were doing that to me.
I seem to be questioning my actions, like theses days, and asking myself, why I am allowing that to happen.
These are the silent scars that no one sees when your sober or drunk. How I deal with them is so different today than so long ago. I still struggle with doing things for people to avoid them getting mad at me or upset. Even if they are ok with it, I feel like they are and I end up with such anxiety. Oh, the trips your mind takes you on!
There are so many under lying matters that our drug of choice would deal with. That was our answer back then, uh, “Why do they do this to me?” It would stew and boil til it came out under the influence of our faithful drug.
Which is better? I think we know the answer to that!
This is, Being Me Sober