Defining…..

It is an awful thing to do. Defining who you are because of your past. If I had too define myself 10 years ago it would be pretty bad. I wouldn’t have too many nice things too say about myself.

Today it’s different. I have regained my pride and discovered, me, who I am.

Early on I drank like anyone else, at parties, holidays or with company, but then it got out of hand and it became an escape to the life I was trapped in and just excelled year after year.

I could no longer do what I was doing. It wasn’t working. I hated me.  I was forced to deal with my issues, sober, straight, no covers, no secrets. If I wanted the life that I was pretending to have then I had no choice. I learned to keep secrets at a young age. I learned to make it look like all was okay. I learned how to cope with thoughts that raced through my mind. But I was dying on the inside. I was not existing in the world or for my family. I was lying to everyone and myself.

When I found that sobriety was working and I started to sort through my past traumas, started communicating, life was new, it was starting to be fun. Yes, FUN! My happy endorphins were on full speed! I started to love myself and the people that I wanted in my life. The people that only want good for me. The people that supported me to the end. The ones who picked me up so many times and tried again.

If you ask me today to define myself,

I am free

I am happy, truly happy

I love to help others

I’m silly, fun and sympathetic

I am successful and strong

I am the best me I have ever been.

The past does not define you as a person, they’re times in life that didn’t go very well. Learn from them and make better, healthy choices.

Your past is not a definition of who you are meant to be!

This is, Being Me Sober