Change through Sobriety…..

It is hard to think about what will life be like to us when we think of a life without alcohol. I mean it’s all around us, how will we ever get through?

Whats so good about living alcohol free?

Well, I would like to share with you some of the things that changed for me when I was brought to my knees due to alcohol ruining my life and the ones around me. 
In order to succeed I had to give up the alcohol and deal with emotional issues I had through life and finally put it behind me.  

It did not happen over night, but gradually, I started to feel the amazing changes in my mind, body and spirit. About 5 months into my sobriety I felt this huge excitement running through my whole body, I felt so good I would say to my kids and husband, I feel like screaming I feel so good! I was actually starting to feel resilient and full of love and happiness, real happiness.

I’ve always had an optimistic, happy look on life even though I had suffered emotionally for so long, but when I surrendered it became more profound. In ways that I could see and feel. The feelings became stronger, I, became stronger in all areas of my life. My priorities changed for what I wanted to be or do with the rest of my/our time on earth. I was stuck in a rut, in the past, and when I drank it surfaced. My self esteem was at it’s lowest and I had no faith in anything I did. There was always a voice that said I was a failure, I was worthless to anyone, my children were better without me. I truly believed that until I felt and began to see the changes I was making without alcohol being my main priority or a part of my life. 

Although, I did have a very successful cleaning company for over 10 years, it wasn’t what I saw doing in the years to come. I felt ashamed of my job, even though it was my own company, I still felt like nothing. I wanted to venture into Real Estate but kept failing my first phase. So I told myself I was a failure and I would be doing what I hated for the rest of my working years. I was living, just living and acting happy and content when I was dying inside and couldn’t wait til I was dead and gone. Wow, so much has changed today.

I was 3 months sober when I told my girlfriend that I failed my exams for real estate and I was going to give up. She looked at me and said, “Don’t give up, keep trying, you will get it, you’ve come so far, keep trying.” Well, she, who has been one of my biggest supporters, was the first person I told when I passed, not one phase and exam but all 3! We celebrated and I felt for the first time that I was not actually a failure, I could change. 

What else changed?

My focus was more on my family and rebuilding the family I had longed for.

My priority was no longer surrounded around the weekends so I could get blasted.

I had no more night terrors, no more waking up screaming or crying.

Less anxiety, depression and complete motivation, I was up for anything.

I believed people when they told me I could do anything I put my mind too because I became stronger and more confident in everything I did. I was on a natural high and nothing could bring me down or turn me too a drink. I became fierce and determined to beat this illness.

My mind became clear, like that song, “I can see clearly now.” I could see the manipulation and deceit from people that were so close to me. I was able to let go of toxic relationships and build ones that were true and made me and my family feel good. I didn’t need or depend on others for my own happiness. I became in control of my emotions and how I dealt with what came at me.

One of the most important things that changed is the amazing relationship I now have with my children and step children. I have the most amazing man on earth to share my life with who stood by me through it all. I really don’t know where I would be without him. He could see what was under all the layers I wore. He could see that I was a good person who needed help and love, real love.

I am so glad for what I had been through so I can pay it forward now, to tell and share with people the amazing things that you will feel and what happens to your entire life when you make the choice to cut alcohol from your life.

Let’s start sharing the triumphs we experience with each other so it doesn’t look so bleak when you start your journey. I want people to look forward to living without alcohol, to feel what we feel and be here, in the moment every single day!

YOU, are so worth it!

This is, Being Me Sober