I'm finally sober! My life up until I really got sober was in one word, chaotic! I didn't know what stability was. To top off my mess of a childhood, I went straight into a marriage with more abuse and alcoholism. But, what I have today is who I am, who I've become, I am with an amazing (new) husband, we have 4 kids and our fur-baby.
It has not been an easy road but I can say it was worth every fight and tear it took to get me here.
Sharing my journey with you and my past is not to display it all over the place but to help someone relate to what has happened and where my mind has been while I was drinking and where it is today. Its to give insight to those suffering that if you just keep fighting you can really have the best life you were meant to have.
Let's do this!
Write about your first name: its meaning, significance, etymology, etc.
My name, Kelly was given to me from my moms brother, my Uncle Doug. My mom told me the name she originally wanted for me and I’m happy my Uncle stepped in.
Here is the meaning of my name Kelly.
The name Kelly has Irish origins, stemming from the Gaelic surname Ó Ceallaigh, and means “descendant of Ceallach”. The personal name Ceallach itself has several interpretations, often linked to “bright-headed,” “war,” or “strife,” and sometimes “one who frequents churches,” making Kelly a unisex name symbolizing strength, brightness, and Irish heritage.
It also stands for warrior, fighter and strength.
Its ironic in a way because when I do great people on here I’ve always used the word, warrior, fellow warrior’s. Warrior’s over the power of alcohol and the fight within myself to get sober and the strength to stay sober!
My name is just a glimpse of who I truly am and what I, Kelly stand for.
The first thing that came to mind was clearing my mind. Clearing my mind of clutter, intrusive thoughts and self sabotage.
I’ve been practicing my breath work and literally giving my head a shake when those thoughts would come.
Last year I had a lot of peace come into my life. My father passed. I know that sounds terrible but there’s a lot of hurt and betrayal that had happened when he was here. We did see each other and make amends just before he passed. Thank God.
So, Ive been able to get most of the clutter out of my mind and working on the rest. Its freeing to be at peace and declutter your mind.
Don’t stress about yesterday or tomorrow, today is all we have 💙
Of course my favorite animal are dogs. My dog Gracie is a golden retriever and a joy to have.
Dogs have always brought me emotional well-being and support, especially during the beginning of my journey being alcohol free. Molly was also a retriever and she did an amazing job with me. She knew what I needed and she delivered with angel wings.
Gracie, is a cuddle bug and fun! She is such a bundle of happiness. When things go aray in my life she’s there to comfort too.
All animals are special in their own way and I am a lover of all, but dogs take the win for me.
My most memorable and favorite road trips have always been with my grandmother, my Aunt and cousin. We would use my dad’s van, which was so cool. It was custom made by my father and grandfather, a fitting name of Night Moves with loovers on all the windows, navy blue argyle patterned padded vinyl on the walls, a bunkie with doors that closed, a couch and mini fridge, even had a little counter and sink, amd of couse the nicest shag carpet!
All us girls would load up and hit the road to Atlantic City, or a smaller trip to our families resort trailer park or the long drives to Florida. It always makes me smile when I see those vans today that were the coolest in the 70s and 80s. But none of them can hold the memories of the road trips or the memories of that van. Night Moves was named after the song by Bob Segar, one of my fathers favorite singers and his favorite song.
The van, the name, the song, remind me of all the memorable moments that I cherish deeply.
You get to build your perfect space for reading and writing. What’s it like?
We have an open area in our basement and we’ve, my daughter and I, discussed doing a podcast on sobriety, Mother Daughter sober journey.
Here’s what it would look like.
A low profile sectional cozey couch, white with colorful accessories,, fluffy pillows, and blankets. A back wall with inspirational quotes, photos and legendary sober warriors. A circle coffee table in a natural wood finish, an area rug for warmth, dim lights for calm mood, candles and energy lighting. I want it to be comfortable and enticing to lounge and have the right energy around to let people feel calm and connected.
I want people and myself to look at the space and want to hang there all night with tea and a book, a podcast, or games. A space for connection and healing and coming together.
Meat to me is a source of good protein and health, but as I approached my 40’s I started to not like it as much. The taste changed and I felt sort of gross about it. I still like having meat every now and then, pork being my go to, but would rather have pizza and pasta for dinner or a good hearty salad.
What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? Why?
I’ve made quite a few heavy decisions in my 55 years of life. Some really good and easy to decide and some took years to go forward with the decision.
One of the hardest and best decisions was to leave my first marriage. Abusive, alcohol and cheating done by the man I thought was good. All the wrongs people do in a marriage. I felt stuck because I was a stay at home mom which meant, no job, no income. I had jobs here and there but my main focus was my children. I couldn’t leave, I felt hopeless so I started to drink to be able to face this person who was ruining our lives. I couldn’t stand to be there in that marriage and felt alone and shattered. Drinking did not help.
5 years I struggled to get out with my 2 children and run as far away as I could from that life. Ive never been so full of anger, rage, quilt and hopelessness, with nowhere to go.
In 2004 I finally, after a huge fight on Fathers Day, I screamed for a divorce and stuck to it. It was time. No matter what happened, we had to leave this person before I was dead or in jail. I could no longer drink to stay or put on a strong front anymore. I was done and made my decision.
It was hard on the children but I knew as long as I had my children, I could make it. I mean this is nothing new when it came to the chaos I grew up in. Leaving was the best decision I could make for everyone involved. For myself and my children. No way were they going to grow up in a dysfunctional abusive home. This cycle had to change.
Im here today, above the dirt, and my children, adults now are getting through. My son has had lingering trauma from his father as well as my daughter but together we’ve gotten better. We made it out and are happy and free.
I will never regret making the decision I did. Staying in a marriage for kids or because you might feel like a failure is no reason to stay where you fear for your lives. We all have choices and decisions to make. Make a decision based on happiness health or anything that’s going to be good for you and support the life you want.
Being Me Sober 