Category: Leisure

Leisure, Mental Health

An underrated life skill…

beingmesober

What’s the most underrated life skill?

One underrated life skill is learning to pause before you speak. Its taken me a long time to master this, even if I haven’t mastered it at all.

I’ve always been defensive when I feel threatened or feel I need to get my point across. I’ve had a difficult time holding my words and patience. I’m a truth seeker and stand by honesty. I would call people out when they were wrong. If I chose to stay quiet, my face would say it.

As I’ve gotten older and understand what staying silent means, it’s shown me patience and strength and most of all peace.  It doesn’t mean you’re weak or wrong. It doesn’t mean you have nothing valuable to say. Silence means listening and trying to see things from others point of view or just protecting your peace. Silence allows you to absorb the words or actions and assess them and either deal with it in a calm manner or not at all.

Silence is golden. Listening is a skill. The urgency to respond right away is also a skill that takes work.

My most recent practice is trying to stay silent when my daughter is complaining or discussing with me things in her life that feel utterly impossible.  To me, it’s easy what to do and I try to help her and explain what to do but my advise is at time irrelevant to her. So, I must learn to just listen and say nothing. Simple words like, I understand or just a simple okay. I can’t give her the answers she is looking for so I must try to stay quiet but also keep my face in check.

Sometimes the best thing we can do for them and ourselves is pause and wait before we speak.

Mental Health, Leisure

My personal Mantra…

beingmesober

What’s a personal mantra or philosophy you live by?

The first time and place I heard it was in AA, one of our mantras.

“Yesterday is gone, Tomorrow is not promised, Today is all we have”.

It’s what I live by. I can’t do anything about yesterday, what I did or what I said, all I can do is learn from any mistakes I made and move on.

We are not promised to wake up tomorrow, it’s all up to the plan, yes, there’s a life plan.

Today, today is all we have. Focus on the day and control what you can. Be grateful for those in your life and the life your living. If you’re not happy with work, a relationship, then change it. Use today to change tomorrow. Don’t stress over things you don’t know the outcome. Don’t role-play in your mind all the what ifs. Live and like I’ve told my kids, “Just do the best you can.”

Leisure, Mental Health

A moment in life that made me feel truly alive…

beingmesober

What’s a moment in your life that made you feel truly alive?

The moment I felt truly alive was when I gave birth to my first child. My son. He was/is perfect. His little 6lb body, his blond hair and the perfect human he was and became.

I was just shy of 23 and I was complete. I felt so alive and whole. I fell in love. I made promises to him that I would always be here and never leave him, to protect him and love and teach him everything.

I now had a purpose and I intended to do everything I could to help him grow into the man I was proud of and he could be proud of too. Of course we had our struggles, but today he’s 33 and is a father of 3. He owns his own landscaping company and is doing great! He is a wonderful father and husband, a hard worker with strong ethics. He is caring and thoughtful. He is smart and funny. He is everything I’d hoped he’d be.

My son (and daughter) has given me life and purpose. They are why I strive to do my best and lead by example. Why I stayed here on earth when all I wanted to do was leave. They are my life and what truly keeps me going.

Leisure, Mental Health

How I write what people want to read?

beingmesober

How do you write what people actually want to read?

When I sit down to answer a prompt of the day or share an insight about something I am experienced with, I can only hope what I write people will read and it will help them or enlighten the readers. I hope what I write makes sense and resonates with people.

When I started this blog I wanted to share my experience with alcohol and how it changed my life for the worst. How it impacted my life growing up. I shared how and why I made the decision to give up alcohol. Writing is good for the soul and heals, it is sharing to get rid of the stigma and bring awareness to those struggling or ones that are co-dependant. Sharing our experiences helps make us feel less alone. It can happen to ANYONE.

I am also a children’s book Author and have written about acceptance and kindness. I wanted to write for children. To help them accept others that are different. We are all the same, we just may have different colored skin, we may have disabilities or we may just be shy and not able to make friends as fast as others. We all deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. Children are our future and we must teach them empathy, kindness and inclusion, especially in todays harsh world. Writing a childrens book was something that I never thought I would embark on. When I discovered my creative, art side in 2019, it led me to my book, Mingo N Bumble. A book for children talking about inclusion and acceptance and friendship.

The making of Mingo N Bumble

Writing has always been something I enjoyed like my diary, but as we age we let go of those things because we don’t have time or make time. When I write and share and recieve the comments that have helped people that is what keeps me going and keep writing.

I hope what I write people want to read and if I can help just one person, my writing is meaningful and helpful to that one. I am making an impact and that’s all I want to do.

I hope you’ve enjoyed your read and you keep coming back.

Leisure

A place I visited that felt like home.

beingmesober

What’s a place you visited that felt like home?

The first place I thought of was Grand Bend. As I was thinking that though, I had to ask myself, is it a feeling of home or a strong love for that place? Was it based on falling in love with my husband there, or was it a place that felt like home?

My husband had a cottage in Grand Bend – GB, when we first started dating and I had never been out that way in summers. Although it was a destination for high school kids, and still is, I stayed closer to home base in Wasaga. When he took me to his cottage and to the beach, I instantly fell in love. In love with the rustic shores of Lake Huron, the wild dunes, and the beautiful tropical colors of the lake. The sunsets were unreal! We had many good times there with our kids and family.

The downtown core of GB has changed a lot since 2006. It is gorgeous. They’ve revamped the hotels and have Air B N B boutiques on the main strip, plenty of places to eat and lots to do!  I feel like I’m writing a review for Google!

So yes, I’d have to say Grand Bend – GB feels like home in more ways then one ❤️

Some say their heart belongs in Texas, mine belongs in the GB. 🏖

Leisure, Mental Health

My favorite cartoon character…

beingmesober

Who is your favorite cartoon character?

SNOOPY!!! I’ve watched Charlie Brown growing up and have fond memories. Who doesn’t love Snoopy!

Incase you don’t know the story behind Snoopy and Charlie Brown, let me enlighten you.

Charlie Brown adopted Snoopy from the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm after Snoopy was returned from his first owners. How lucky both Charlie and Snoopy were to have found each other. They built a relationship full of love, loyalty and trust. The show was based on real life experiences by the artist, Charles Scultz and his dog Spike.

Charles didn’t have anyone really close to him, people made fun of him and he just had a rough time. His gf rejected him and he was left alone. Instead of turning that heartbreak and rejection into something worthless, he took it and made a comic about his life and his beloved dog Spike, aka – Snoopy. How incredible and inspirational.

Since 1950 Charlie Brown with Snoopy has been a comic and character on many television sets, that never died. Its filled homes with love, laughter and relatable content for some viewers to let them know, they’re not alone. What he did for himself and others is very selfless. He let strangers into his world and we had no idea it was actually based on the artist and his dog.

Sometimes we either take what comes at us and let it eat at us or we turn that rejection into something positive. Excellence on Charles part.

While I was writing this it reminded me of the prompt from yesterday, how your mindset can influence your financial success. Charles Scultz is a prime example of how cabaple we are to be successful even when you’ve been rejected your entire youth and young adult life. Turn that negative mind into a positive mind.

While he was silently creating and healing his inner child, he was helping so many other people and I’m not sure if Charles even realized how many he helped.

Thank you Mr. Scultz for your comics and cartoons and Snoopy ❤️

Leisure, Pets

If my dog could talk, this is what she would say…

beingmesober

If your pet could talk, what would be the first thing it says?

Our golden retriever Gracie is so full of life. She has so much energy and is ready for any date. Her absolute favorite activity other than hunting for the perfect stick to demolish or playing hide and seek with her ball, her favorite activity is swimming.

The first thing Gracie would say is, “Take me to the beach!” Her absolute favorite is crashing the waves or chasing the birds until she realizes they win every time.

Gracie is our second Golden. Our first, Molly, was my sobriety emotional support and she did such an amazing job. She is now an angel with her earned wings.

Gracie came to us in 2023 and she is a beautiful AKC big ball of fluff and a cuddle bug.  We got her down in Florida before Christmas and she has brought so much joy to our life. Gracie is also a sort of therapy dog for our daughter in her recovery.

My husband asked after we lost our Molly, why and how could I go through another loss like we are with Molly? I said , because of all the love they give and coming home to a dog is something noone can describe, unless you own a dog. The greetings and happiness they show us. The instant we see them the world melts and it’s all about the pets and kisses. I have always had a dog. Not having one would be so miserable. Gracie keeps me active, she sits with me and keeps me company while the hubby works. She’s also a great listener.

If Gracie could talk, oh boy, I don’t think she’d ever stop lol. I think I prefer her little growls or moaning when she wants my attention.

Leisure, Mental Health

What being an Author has been like….

beingmesober

It’s funny labeling myself as an Author. I’ve had many labels, or worn many hats, in my career path. Some career choices I’ve made along the way haven’t been “the one”, and I’m okay with that. I’ve been able to experience so many valuable lessons and knowledge from those positions in my life.

I’ve been a hair stylist, creating hair styles. I’ve been a stay at home mom (favorite career choice btw), I was a school bus driver, so I could bring my kids with me and still earn an income. I then opened my own cleaning company and ran it successfully for 12 years. Employed 5 people and made a lot of customers happy. I’ve been a Real Estate Agent and loved every minute of it.

When I resigned from RE, it was because of a lifestyle change my husband and I had/have. Being away 6 months of the year in one place and 6 in the next was conflicting with RE so I resigned.

It was when Covid hit that I discovered my art which led me to wearing another hat of an Author of a published Children’s Book(s), one in the works.

I have to say it’s been totally different from anything I’ve done, but I know everything I’ve been through and done has led me to write. To help others. To send a message. To relate.

I want to spread messages of help. How to help. To encourage children. The young and vulnerable, vulnerable to too much. I want to instill good into the world and this is the way I can get my message to so many.

It’s a lot of work and it doesn’t just magically appear in schools, in parents hands or children’s hands. I myself have to get infront of people and share my message.

I was very nervous at first, reading to a large group of….children…I know, it should be easy but it was a tad scary. Anything new and good should make us a little scared. I got threw it and was relieved but proud. It was a great turn out and got my book into the library!

I love being an Author and creating stories. I also love being able to touch just one person, or many with my message of being kind, accepting others and friendship. My next book is about bullying. Based on a true story about me and my childhood dog Bonnie. I also hope to one day write a book about life’s challenges and sobriety. 

If you’re thinking of writing, I’m here to offer any advice I can!

Happy reading!

This is Being Me Sober

Leisure, Mental Health

Something I do completely different from how I was raised…

beingmesober

What’s something you do completely differently from how you were raised?

I have 2 very different parents. My dad was so young at heart and always wanted to have fun but instilled such good morals and values, he was easy going and easy to talk to and share anything with. My mom, yikes. She was very strict, quick tempered and closed minded. Not easy to speak to about pre-teen, teenage girl problems. She was abused as a child and with no therapy the trauma just continued down the line onto me. Until I did something different, nothing would change. I would continue the generations of abuse.

My father was also abused but he never directed that anger towards me, just his wives. Again, no therapy, trauma continues down the line along with alcoholism and mental health issues such as depression, anxiety etc.

I always made an oath with myself growing up. Number 1 – No man will ever abuse me or my children. Number – 2 – I will never mentally or physically abuse my children. I will be open and remember what it was like for me at that age. They will be well mannered and respect authority and their elders.

My parents both raised me to have manners and respect people. Don’t make fun or hurt others and do not lie. Always tell the truth. If you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all. The core morals and manners.

With my kids I raised them in a way that they could always count on me, they never have to question my judgement, they never have to wonder if I would leave them. I raised them to be strong adults and with good work ethic. I raised them to be who they wanted to be and to never question their ability of what was possible for them. I raised them to know that family is everything and no matter what we can always work it out. I raised them to get through the hard stuff together and don’t run, face it head on.

The hardest job in the world is being a parent. There’s no manual or You-Tube video to guide you through the next 50 + years of being a parent. Just because they turn 18, doesn’t mean we are done. Parenting ends the day we die. We do the best we can as parents and do better if we need to than our parents. We can not be selfish when we have children because as soon as they are born, it is about them, your second fiddle now for awhile.

I think I can be proud of the way I raised my Son and Daughter. They are polite, funny, open, good humans and my son is an amazing father to his 3 sons. We have a great relationship with each other and gotten through the tough times. There will be more to come, I know, but I also know we always find our way back to the good times.

Leisure, Mental Health

My 5 favorite apps on my phone…

beingmesober

What are your favorite 5 apps on your phone?

My favorite 5 apps are…..drum roll please 🥁

#1 –  Should I say Jetpack? Lol. It is in my top 5 but not #1.

#1 –  Deezer. Its my music app. Its the app I go to when I’m done my coffee and ready to start my day. It plays on our Bose system throughout the house and outside! I’m never without music unless we are eating dinner and settling in for the night.

#2 – Tik Tok. I enjoy that app for the new musicians, again music, I discover while scrolling and seeing people from around the world. Time spent on the app, no longer than 30 min.

#3 – Instagram. That’s where I share my Art and my books. I’m a children’s Author and like to use that platform to get my message out about diversity, kindness and friendship.  I try to stay diligent and post to help brand Storyberry Books. You can find my published book Mingo N Bumble anywhere books are sold.

#4 – Pinterest. That’s where I spend maybe too much time? Nah! Any interest is on Pinterest!! My design soul gets a little attention too.

And finally #5 – Very Fit Watch app. Keeps track of my sleep, steps and heart rate. I will have heart palpitations sometimes due to anxiety or panic or nothing at all, and I like to check my Heart rate to make sure I’m not dropping over. I also like to have competitions with my hubby on steps. He cheats because he goes to the gym lol 😆.  The steps are also good to keep me active. My goal is to get atleast 8000 steps a day and usually get 10,000!!

Whatever your favorite apps are, always be aware of time spent on these apps. Too much of anything is never good.

Here is a good article about scrolling and Apping.

The Psychology of the Scroll: How Social Media Quietly Rewires Your Mood, Focus, and Self‑Worth

Happy Appy..