Category: Leisure

Leisure, Mental Health

Are we shaped by experiences or by who we are?

beingmesober

Do you think we’re shaped more by our experiences or by who we are?

Are we shaped by experiences or who we are? Both.

Some heavy experiences in life shape our future and who we become for sure. Sets our nervous system. Fight or flight. PTSD, traumatic stress leaves scars, some to never repair. Shapes what we think and who or what we become as adults.

Certain experiences shape who we become. Whether for good or bad.

We as humans learn through watching. Learned behavior which shapes who we are. 

My son being abused by his father verbally and physically left deep scars and who he is today at 33 years young. His anger is still present and his words at times are valgur.  I’ve tried for years to help him but to no avail it’s embedded in him. Without therapy it will continue. I often wondered if I could have left the marriage sooner maybe my son wouldn’t be as scared. I’m happy to report he is an amazing father and doesn’t mistreat his boys or wife. The trigger is there and the switch can flip at anytime.  Hopefully with support and our endless talks he will settle. His experiences definitely affected who he became.

My life experiences definitely shaped who I became. I became the change. The one who broke the chain of abuse and alcoholism. I became the black sheep of my family speaking the truth and not being blind to who certain people were. Speaking the truth left me somewhat alone but I knew what I was doing was helping my scars and becoming who I was born to be. It left me strong and capable of overcoming.

I’m now helping my daughter with her trauma and addiction for everything that has shaped her into the young 30 year old she is.  She is now in therapy and it’s going well. She is slowly becoming the sweet girl she was before all the experiences she has been through.  I will continue to break the chain and circle of alcoholism and abuse in our family.

I knew before having children,  I was going to be everything to them and help shape their life as best I could. To be successful, to love with all their heart and be a good person. To be there for them always, to not abuse them like I was abused as a child, and to not live a life of domestic violence. I would never let that happen. Unfortunately I did end up back in the violence and alcoholism but I never let it change me inside. It may have changed who I was for a short time but I came out on top and used those experiences to help me today with my own kids.

Although the past desicions and home life had a part in who I would have been I used those experiences to my advantage today. I use them to share on here and with my kids. To show them we can do better. Its up to you to decide what you do with what comes along.

Will you concour or let those experiences determine or shape who you were born to be?

Leisure

Am I a lifelong learner?

beingmesober

Are you a lifelong learner?

I believe everyone is a lifelong learner. We learn new things everyday, even if we don’t realize we are. Its also not just about education.  Its life lessons, relationships.

I do love learning and continuing my education and skills. It keeps my brain healthy and my boredom at bay.

My latest adventure into learning was sharpening my interior design skills and perfecting home staging. The course taught me a lot and educated me on what avenue I could work towards. I’m thinking of a Staging Consultant.  I don’t have the space to hold furniture, art and lights, and tons of decor etc. I don’t have containers for sellers to store their furniture when replacing it with our staging furniture. There is so much involved that I never took into account.

While in the course I got discouraged because it entailed so much more than I thought but I continued and heard of the consulting.

Learning is never a waste of time even if you never use what you’ve learned.

Knowledge is Power Power is Knowledge

-KBP

Leisure, Mental Health

I miss you…

beingmesober

I miss the beeping of my phone and seeing it’s you thinking of me

I miss the smile you smiled when I said something funny

I miss the talks we had driving in your rig on our way to NY

I miss the days in the Trans Am so free and fast

I miss your arm around me and looking at me so proud

I miss your jokes and your laughter

I miss your stories

I miss the music

I miss knowing you’re there

I miss being daddy’s little girl

I miss you so

-KBP

Leisure

What Villain had a good point?

beingmesober

What villain actually had a good point?

I’m not really into comics or superheroes. I guess maybe being a woman I don’t share any liking to that.

When I read the prompt, I thought of vigilantes. When someone takes the law into their own hands because they feel they are doing justice. Hummm, no one in my opinion, has the right to put the law into their hands to have justice. Although we, as humans can sometimes identify with their actions and agree. Some should be removed from society and never return.

Let’s face it, most times we intervene, we come out being the villain.

Leisure, Mental Health

Is a little chaos good for us?

beingmesober

Is a little chaos actually good for us?

What a question! I’ve lived a life of chaos pretty much for 40 years until I got sober and could pull myself from the cause of the continued chaos. Was it good for me? No. Not constant chaos so you don’t know which way is up. Chaos makes our minds function very differently. Everything feels rushed, no time to realize what’s actually going on. You can’t focus, sleep, or live a functioning life in constant chaos.

My mind never rested, it was going constantly.  My emotions were on high and I could never completely settle. I had night terrors since I was a child and was continously anxious. Expecting the drop.

Now I have very little chaos and some may say it’s a boring life keeping to myself and having a small group of friends.  Family  members or friends who bring a certain chaos to my life are at a distance. I absolutely love our quiet life. I am calm and can think clearly without all the other rukess circling around.

Some chaos I guess can stir up a bit of excitement and let us appreciate our quiet life that much more, but too much of anything is never good.

There will always be a bit of chaos no matter what we do to stop it. There will always be bumps ahead but it’s how we handle the chaos when we are faced with it. Calm cool and collected.

So when life is going smooth expect a little splash of chaos to show up and get a little crazy. Let it ruffle your hair and put us in high gear knowing that it will soon pass. When it’s over we sit and let out a deep breath and really appreciate where we are when times are quiet.

Leisure

My favorite blogger?

beingmesober

Who is your favorite blogger to follow?

I don’t have one favorite blogger. I enjoy every blogger who takes the time to write and free them selves of what is taking up space in their minds. I enjoy knowing and reading the other views people have, not just one. I enjoy the creativity and style of certain bloggers but wouldn’t call them favorite. 

Keep blogging, keep sharing, keep the lines of communication open.

Leisure

Recap of yesterday’s step count!

beingmesober

Well peeps I actually got to 13,456 steps yesterday!!

What a day! Air Canada cancelled our flight to Regina yesterday due to “maintenance” so we had to reroute. Hopped on West Jet with a connector to Calgary, just a quick flight over Regina then get back on another plane to go back another hour and a half to Regina. Whatever it takes to get to our kids right! Keeping her updated as the day progresses.

Okay, we’re on our way to see our daughter and grandbabes just a bit later but we will get there. Not so fast! There was a medical emergency on our flight and was delayed an hour!!! Ohhhh no! Will we miss our connection in Calgary?

As we all got off the plane, some happy to be home, or their Calgary trip for the Stampede this weekend, oh ya that too, others wondering if they will make their connections.

We walked and walked through the airport to our connection gate, we could see our plane, thank god phew. Nope, sorry, says the ticket agent, you’ll have to get on the 11pm flight. Ohhhhh my gosh! Its 3 hr difference from Ontario to Calgary, I’ve been up since 5:30am and it’s now midnight our time. We are tired but wired and frustrated. Its still daylight at 10pm.

We go get our new boarding passes and end up staying the night at the Marriot. Another airport walk around from one end of the airport to the other. But in the back of my mind I’m getting all my steps in. I have to report back to all my fellow bloggers 😁.

I have to say though, I really like Calgary. Well the airport, the vibes. When we walked into the hotel to check in, with a restaurant surrounding the check in desk, I felt like we were walking right into Dutton Ranch! All the cowboy hats and saddles laid out as decor. I actually wish we were all staying here this weekend, but must get back on the plane for our final destination.

Even though yesterday was delayed and frustrating, we knew we’d get there eventually 🙃.  What’s a little pit stop at a place we’ve never been. One for the books!

I did manage to get 13,456 steps in yesterday which is awesome 👌!

Off we go! Too Regina. Too our kids!

Leisure, Mental Health

What I love now, but hated at a younger age.

beingmesober

What do you love now, that you hated when you were younger?

WEEDING! I hated weeding when I was younger.

When I was 11 Is when my stepmom taught me how to weed the garden. It was the last thing on earth I wanted to be doing. I wanted to be swimming, or hanging out in my room or playing with friends, certainly not weeding my parents garden. Like, why couldn’t they just do it. Huffing and puffing along the way. My mom never gave in though.  She made me finish the entire gardens. The gardens seemed to be so big and take so long to do.

Today, however I’m grateful for those days I hated weeding because it taught me how to take care of my own garden when the day came. I do think back to that still when I’m gardening and give a little thoughtful shout out to my parents for teaching me, and the patience to suffer through my pouting and carrying on during those times.

I can also say I’m a little anal when it comes to my garden. It has to have proper placement, colour and low maintenance perennials. Minimal weed growth. When I do have to weed and maintain the grounds, I find it relaxing. I can go into my own world and tell my plants how beautiful they are! Weird? Human touch stimulates plants and talking to them or having music close to them. They feel the vibration from our voices and the music, the energy we give when touching. 

So, thanks mom for all those lessons that I thought would ruin my life. 🫶👊

When I sit back on my front porch or backyard deck I look at my gardens and smile because they are beautiful and I’m proud of my hard work and of course lessons learned, not just about weeding but about appreciating and taking care of what you have.

Happy Earthing!

Leisure, Mental Health

A time I followed my gut and it turned out exactly right?

beingmesober

What’s a time you followed your gut and it turned out to be exactly right?

I would have to say, my gut tells me when to list and where to buy real estate. I’ve somehow had an intuition for just the right time to list our properties and what price point for a fair and quick sell, as well as what area to purchase in. We’ve never over paid or under sold.

It is more than just my gut, it’s doing a lot of  research, driving by communities to see what the area is like, looking into recent solds and checking out what’s listed and for what price and how long its been on the market. Those are all factors.

Overall though, it could be a great neighborhood, the perfect home and my gut will tell me if something is off about the home or the area. I’m able to see a lot of things people may skim over, and I try to stay tuned to my energy. When it comes to living in a home you don’t want bad juju!!

It’s difficult to know when to trust your intuition or “gut” but, 9 times out of 10 our gut is not wrong.

Listen to your body and and gut. Just remember to feed it well!

Leisure

What languages I speak and how it’s impacted my life?

beingmesober

Which languages do you speak and how did that impact your life?

Sorry to disappoint but, I only speak English.  Boring ol English. I am a Canadian but do not speak French. French is one of the country’s two official languages and was taught in elementary school but optional after grade 10.

It is said that English is the hardest language to learn because there are so many hidden letters and multiple meanings for the same word. It is tricky. Like, Know, No. Where, Wear. Knife – silent K…Knit – silent K again…etc..

It really hasn’t impacted my life not learning another language because I am not an adventurous traveler. I’m pretty much a home body. It doesn’t mean I don’t love going to the Caribbean or Mexico. Sure! Let’s go! I knew I always wanted to be a mom and eventually become a Realtor, so another language was never something I focused on. I didn’t need to.

If the question today was, “Whats a language you wish you learned when you were younger?” I would say Spanish. I love their accent and language. When you greet them they are always so happy and upbeat.

I do know a few words like, hello, how are you, one zero beer please! You know the important stuff, and where’s the bathroom! And of course, Thank you.

It is wonderful to learn a new language. It just gets a little more difficult when we become older, but doesn’t mean we shouldn’t learn. It could have a very positive impact that we didn’t know we possibly could use one day.

Hummm, maybe I should look into taking Spanish lessons. 🤔

Gracias, que tenga un buen día!