Category: Leisure

Leisure

What languages I speak and how it’s impacted my life?

beingmesober

Which languages do you speak and how did that impact your life?

Sorry to disappoint but, I only speak English.  Boring ol English. I am a Canadian but do not speak French. French is one of the country’s two official languages and was taught in elementary school but optional after grade 10.

It is said that English is the hardest language to learn because there are so many hidden letters and multiple meanings for the same word. It is tricky. Like, Know, No. Where, Wear. Knife – silent K…Knit – silent K again…etc..

It really hasn’t impacted my life not learning another language because I am not an adventurous traveler. I’m pretty much a home body. It doesn’t mean I don’t love going to the Caribbean or Mexico. Sure! Let’s go! I knew I always wanted to be a mom and eventually become a Realtor, so another language was never something I focused on. I didn’t need to.

If the question today was, “Whats a language you wish you learned when you were younger?” I would say Spanish. I love their accent and language. When you greet them they are always so happy and upbeat.

I do know a few words like, hello, how are you, one zero beer please! You know the important stuff, and where’s the bathroom! And of course, Thank you.

It is wonderful to learn a new language. It just gets a little more difficult when we become older, but doesn’t mean we shouldn’t learn. It could have a very positive impact that we didn’t know we possibly could use one day.

Hummm, maybe I should look into taking Spanish lessons. 🤔

Gracias, que tenga un buen día!

Leisure, Mental Health

The best advice I’d give a younger person.

beingmesober

What’s the best advice you’d give to someone younger than you?

The advice I would give to someone younger than me would probably sound a lot like what our parents or grandparents told us.

Don’t rush into marriage, kids, house, dogs etc. Save your money, be independent and so on. This is all good advise but what about living your authentic life?

I would tell them to be true to themselves, love yourself through and through to be able to give your heart to someone else fully and completely. Be who you want to be and don’t let anyone crush your dreams. Its okay to say no. Be mindful of your friends because not everyone is. Don’t trust so easy and ask lots of questions. Don’t be afraid to be silly and crazy every once and awhile, it’s good for our inner child. Listen to your intuition and your parents. We’ve been your age, we know! Always be respectful to everyone that deserves your respect but give yourself the same. Keep learning through life, keep reading and spend more time in nature than on your devices. Learn to communicate and express how you feel, think before you speak or react. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made and let go. If you need help, ask.

Lastly, i would tell a younger person that it will all be okay. Just make the right choices, live life to the fullest and take care of you first. Give 100% to yourself before you give 100% to someone else.

Keep smiling 😃

Leisure

A book, a movie or TV show I wish I could experience again for the first time?

beingmesober

What’s a book, movie, or TV show that you wish you could experience again for the first time?

Sitcoms back in the 80s and 90s. It was all about TV. The great series of shows or sitcoms. The Young and The Restless. Family Ties, Knotts Landing, Dallas….

I loved coming home at lunch and watching the Flintstones or Leave it To Beaver. I sometimes wish to go back there. It was simple and it meant watching TV or movies with your family. That’s what I miss. Not so much the shows but the time together. Today we are distracted by our phones or just not settling enough or too busy to make the time. There are so many distractions compared to back then.

To me, remembering tv, and or movies is not so much about the shows, it was about who I watched the shows or movies with.

Keep those memories and cherish them because one day you may think about those times and it really may have nothing to do with the TV or movie, just the bonding itself was what it was about.

Leisure, Mental Health

A common misconception people have about happiness?

beingmesober

What’s a common misconception people have about happiness?

Its the big one, Money Will Make Me Happy! If I just had more. If I get that new boat, house, car….

We’ve all heard that. There are so many things we think will make us happy or, happier.  Its never something you can buy, practice or fake. 

Are you happy a little, or happy, or whole heartedly happy?

There’s only one way to be truly happy and that’s to love. Love yourself, love others and be grateful. Be grateful and love what you have,not what you don’t.

Happiness comes from within, your inner peace and happiness.

You can find happiness by doing things for others and not expecting anything in return. Paying forward. Loving and supporting one another. Smiling and saying hello to a passer by. Letting a car merge in-front of you when you can see their blinker….don’t speed up, don’t curse and yell at the person who clearly cannot hear you. You get it!

Myself, I’m a happy person.  Thankfully. There are days, like today, you’d think I was miserable. But if you knew me you’d know why I am in a mood, but I get through and know tomorrow is a new day and it will be better!

Is that happiness or optimism 🤔?

I know money or status will not bring happiness. Those are temporary. I know happiness is a gift and not always granted so easily for some, but if you open your heart and look within, you’ll find some happy there.

Leisure, Mental Health, Stages

What skill would I master if I could and why?

beingmesober

If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be and why?

Carpentry is a skill I wish I could instantly master!

I’ve always been passionate about interior design, but as I’ve gotten older and expanded my inner designer, I’ve wished I was a carpenter or wood worker.

It became something I’ve wanted to do when I started my Art journey. I wanted to be able to do my own frames or cool wood signs, maybe hairing bone patterns or just being able to master the right cuts. Math was not my forte in school and has not improved over the years, lol. All the inches and mm, cm, ugh…My mind goes fuzzy!

My husband and I have renovated, gutted and beautified 5 homes since we’ve been together over the last 20 years. It has been both stressful and exhilarating! I absolutely love revitalizing old outdated homes to bring them back to life. We’ve been very fortunate to be able to do this. Its not cheap and finding the right contractors is also a chore. We’ve been very lucky. 

There’s also a mastery when renovating homes and reselling. We are not home flippers, I am just someone who has visions of design in any home I’m in. But when doing this you have to be mindful of how much to invest in your home to be able to profit when selling. NEVER over design. Always keep in mind the necessities of a home to max out. Little details add a lot of value.

Watching the contractors do their magic has often made me wish I knew carpentry. If I could turn back time just a little I think I would have loved to be a home builder. Maybe in my next lifetime!

There’s still time for me to pick up that skill saw and make those cuts, but I think at this point in my 56 years I will leave it to the professionals.

Leisure, Mental Health

Do I believe in minimalism?

beingmesober

Do you believe in minimalism?

Yes! Yes! Yes! No clutter!

My mom and her husband love their niknaks in the house and garden, and my stepdad is a pack rat. My mom loves her collections of “things” but, my stepdads ways drive her nuts. So much so that she will no longer go to their place of business because she can’t stand the clutter.

I’ve always told my kids that having an organized, clean room sets their mind to a more focused, calm state and will also help them be more efficient throught their day and life.

I’m someone who does not like unnecessary items laying around. Everything has a place.

Treadmills are for an exercise room, chairs are made to sit on.

When I decorate I like to showcase a few of my favorite things but not too much. I want an atmosphere of cozy, classy and beachy. I want our company to feel relaxed and comfortable as well when they visit.

When there is so much happening in a space it doesn’t provide relaxation. It doesn’t separate a space from one to another. It is also a pain to clean everything.

Those pants that no longer fit, or those really cool boots we wore in high school. Time too say goodbye. Oh and the doileys everywhere under everything…..Bathrooms come with cabinets to put items away.

There are so many benefits to being a minimalist, less to clean, easier to find things, organized mind, emotional balance, and appreciation for what you have or what your holding onto.

Remember, less is more.

Leisure, Mental Health, Stages

I’m 17 Today!

beingmesober

Hello fellow warriors. I hope you’re all striving to be your best selves everyday.

Every year I wake up and think of where I was on my sobriety anniversary. My stomach turns, my mind and body feels every emotion I was feeling that day.

I was terrified of what I might have lost. What I was doing with my life and my children.The thing is I was not a daily drinker, I might have had a drink before dinner, but I knew once I started I didn’t want to stop. I had kids to get ready for school and I had a business to run. I couldn’t be hungover and expect to clean a house or business to perfection if I was not feeling 100%. No one can do their best after a night of binge drinking.

It was the long weekend in May of 2009. I was drinking all day with our neighbor. I don’t know what happened but I packed a suitcase and walked with my daughter and her friend to her house and decided to leave my boyfriend. I continued to drink at my daughters friends house, her mothers rum or whiskey and got on the phone with my dad in Florida and asked if he’d come pick me up in Ontario. I was leaving and I needed him to come get me. I had no regard for my son or daughter. How on earth was I even going to get them to the States. This is where my mind was at. Still trying to escape. Still running. Still drunk. My dad would have come to get me. He always did. He had arranged a friend who would drive up and pick us up. It sounded like the perfect plan. I would leave, run, run to my dad who was there for me. No plan, no reason other than, I was drinking and raging.

When it was time for me to leave where I was and return home, I was angry, ashamed, scared and so so tired. What have I done. Again. More broken promises. Another relapse.

When I walked in the door at 9am I was prepared for everything and nothing, but also prepared mindfully for my boyfriend to tell me and my kids to pack up and leave. I didn’t know where to hide, where to go, what to do. I actually grabbed a blanket and went to the high school up the street and layed on the ground right there with the traffic going by looking at this person on a hill with her blanket. I didn’t know what to do or where to go, My mind was drunk and full of hate, not for them but for me. How pathetic I had become. What an embarressment for my kids I was. Not only did their dad have an alcohol problem but now their mom too. I couldn’t be in my skin. I hated myself. I was not worthy to anyone. I wished I was dead.

I grabbed my blanket got up and walked back home. I went upstairs washed my face, went to the kitchen made a tea, grabbed my anti depressants, probably 60 tablets or so, put them all in my mouth and swallowed. I grabbed my tea and walked out the front door on my way to the hospital. The hospital was not around the corner, it was a few km from our house but I was determined and so desperate to escape, die, get help. It was time.

I stayed in the hospital for 5 days and walked through the doors of AA June 1st 2009 at 8pm. That was one of the things I had to do to start and repair my relationship with my boyfriend and kids as well as his.I couldn’t believe I was “one of them.” I fought it as I am sure we all do, we aren’t like these people, we aren’t as bad, we don’t drink like that. We are not alcoholic. We have this under control….. Until we don’t.

I fought this but continued to go, to listen and try to find some familiarity. I spoke of such with a lady in AA, she told me to stay and I would hear someone who was just like me. I did, it was I think my 6 month of sobriety and someone spoke of their journey and what do you know, she was a binger, not an everyday drinker, just a drinker who couldn’t stop at one.  Just. Like. Me. There it is, there it was, in my face. I am like these people, I am alcoholic, I have become powerless over alcohol, it consumed me, it was my priority when my kids, my boyfriend, my life should have been my priority. These people were my people. We are all the same just with different stories.

AA, my boyfriend and the love for my children and step-children, and myself, got me to give up drinking. They saved my life.Today is a very special day, it is not only my 17th year alcohol free, but my husband and I met 20 years ago on this day, and married 13 years ago on this day. May 25th is a day on the calender that makes me appreciate every stepping stone I took to get me here. It’s a day of rememberance. A day of joy. A day of resiliance, strength and freedom.

I feel blessed with the entire life I have had. I do not regret anything I have lived through. I have accepted people and things the way they are and have to be. I have learned so much about myself and the reasons why I had to go through what I went through to make me a better stronger person. To teach me that we can change how our life is, we can put things in the past, we can make a choice of the kind of life we want. We stop blaming, stop the pitty party, buckle up and get straight.

My name is Kelly and I am an alcohlic, and I am okay with that. I love my life alcohol free. I love the freedom. I love the love I now have for myself. I am powerless over alcohol but now, I have the power. I have the choice. I have it all.

This is, Being Me Sober

Leisure
beingmesober

What’s a word or phrase that annoys you?

Lets talk about words.. There are so many slang and new words that have been introduced and developed over the generations.

There’s quite a few words that annoy me when used, but one word that I won’t spell out on here because of its vulgarity, the “C” word. Its the most disgusting word I’ve ever heard. The Brittish use it quite often but add an ie at the end so it sounds more, I don’t know, nice?

That word should not even be in existence as far as I’m concerned. It is degrading, disrespectful and irritates the helk out of me and makes me want to cringe.

Please, use your manners

Leisure

Planning the perfect road trip

beingmesober

How do you plan the perfect road trip?

Ahhhhhh, a road trip. So fun as we anticipate the fun at the other end of where we will go. Planning the perfect road trip is what my husband and I have been doing for 15 years. Driving down to Florida every year to our seasonal home.

First thing we do is pack what we will be bringing down. My husband has things packed for the next drive the day we get back. We then constantly watch the weather because we leave in November and it can be beautiful or a snow/ice nightmare. We also take our furbaby to the vet to get a wellness check for the border. We have our vehicle serviced, washed and vacuumed. Road trips feel so much better in a clean vehicle. We prebook our hotels for the nights on the road. We stop before dark because of all the deer on the hwys. That is the one thing that disturbes me on the drive is seeing all the deer on the side of the road. In a perfect world the deer would know they can’t leave the forest.

We’ve had a book that we take with us and write down the hours it takes to get to places where we stay, the gas cost and temperture. Let me tell you, this year cost us double in fuel to get back home. 

I am more of a spontaneous person and will do things on the fly. No planning just doing. My husband is the planner, which works, no mishaps. As long as we get there in one piece we are good.

Our road trips are down pat and we are novice travellers of the 2,370km, 22hrs we drive twice a year, there and back. Even though we’ve done this drive for so long there is always a plan before leaving to ensure a safe and successful arrival.

Happy trails to you all for this summers road trips.