Category: Leisure

Leisure, Mental Health

Do I believe in minimalism?

beingmesober

Do you believe in minimalism?

Yes! Yes! Yes! No clutter!

My mom and her husband love their niknaks in the house and garden, and my stepdad is a pack rat. My mom loves her collections of “things” but, my stepdads ways drive her nuts. So much so that she will no longer go to their place of business because she can’t stand the clutter.

I’ve always told my kids that having an organized, clean room sets their mind to a more focused, calm state and will also help them be more efficient throught their day and life.

I’m someone who does not like unnecessary items laying around. Everything has a place.

Treadmills are for an exercise room, chairs are made to sit on.

When I decorate I like to showcase a few of my favorite things but not too much. I want an atmosphere of cozy, classy and beachy. I want our company to feel relaxed and comfortable as well when they visit.

When there is so much happening in a space it doesn’t provide relaxation. It doesn’t separate a space from one to another. It is also a pain to clean everything.

Those pants that no longer fit, or those really cool boots we wore in high school. Time too say goodbye. Oh and the doileys everywhere under everything…..Bathrooms come with cabinets to put items away.

There are so many benefits to being a minimalist, less to clean, easier to find things, organized mind, emotional balance, and appreciation for what you have or what your holding onto.

Remember, less is more.

Leisure, Mental Health, Stages

I’m 17 Today!

beingmesober

Hello fellow warriors. I hope you’re all striving to be your best selves everyday.

Every year I wake up and think of where I was on my sobriety anniversary. My stomach turns, my mind and body feels every emotion I was feeling that day.

I was terrified of what I might have lost. What I was doing with my life and my children.The thing is I was not a daily drinker, I might have had a drink before dinner, but I knew once I started I didn’t want to stop. I had kids to get ready for school and I had a business to run. I couldn’t be hungover and expect to clean a house or business to perfection if I was not feeling 100%. No one can do their best after a night of binge drinking.

It was the long weekend in May of 2009. I was drinking all day with our neighbor. I don’t know what happened but I packed a suitcase and walked with my daughter and her friend to her house and decided to leave my boyfriend. I continued to drink at my daughters friends house, her mothers rum or whiskey and got on the phone with my dad in Florida and asked if he’d come pick me up in Ontario. I was leaving and I needed him to come get me. I had no regard for my son or daughter. How on earth was I even going to get them to the States. This is where my mind was at. Still trying to escape. Still running. Still drunk. My dad would have come to get me. He always did. He had arranged a friend who would drive up and pick us up. It sounded like the perfect plan. I would leave, run, run to my dad who was there for me. No plan, no reason other than, I was drinking and raging.

When it was time for me to leave where I was and return home, I was angry, ashamed, scared and so so tired. What have I done. Again. More broken promises. Another relapse.

When I walked in the door at 9am I was prepared for everything and nothing, but also prepared mindfully for my boyfriend to tell me and my kids to pack up and leave. I didn’t know where to hide, where to go, what to do. I actually grabbed a blanket and went to the high school up the street and layed on the ground right there with the traffic going by looking at this person on a hill with her blanket. I didn’t know what to do or where to go, My mind was drunk and full of hate, not for them but for me. How pathetic I had become. What an embarressment for my kids I was. Not only did their dad have an alcohol problem but now their mom too. I couldn’t be in my skin. I hated myself. I was not worthy to anyone. I wished I was dead.

I grabbed my blanket got up and walked back home. I went upstairs washed my face, went to the kitchen made a tea, grabbed my anti depressants, probably 60 tablets or so, put them all in my mouth and swallowed. I grabbed my tea and walked out the front door on my way to the hospital. The hospital was not around the corner, it was a few km from our house but I was determined and so desperate to escape, die, get help. It was time.

I stayed in the hospital for 5 days and walked through the doors of AA June 1st 2009 at 8pm. That was one of the things I had to do to start and repair my relationship with my boyfriend and kids as well as his.I couldn’t believe I was “one of them.” I fought it as I am sure we all do, we aren’t like these people, we aren’t as bad, we don’t drink like that. We are not alcoholic. We have this under control….. Until we don’t.

I fought this but continued to go, to listen and try to find some familiarity. I spoke of such with a lady in AA, she told me to stay and I would hear someone who was just like me. I did, it was I think my 6 month of sobriety and someone spoke of their journey and what do you know, she was a binger, not an everyday drinker, just a drinker who couldn’t stop at one.  Just. Like. Me. There it is, there it was, in my face. I am like these people, I am alcoholic, I have become powerless over alcohol, it consumed me, it was my priority when my kids, my boyfriend, my life should have been my priority. These people were my people. We are all the same just with different stories.

AA, my boyfriend and the love for my children and step-children, and myself, got me to give up drinking. They saved my life.Today is a very special day, it is not only my 17th year alcohol free, but my husband and I met 20 years ago on this day, and married 13 years ago on this day. May 25th is a day on the calender that makes me appreciate every stepping stone I took to get me here. It’s a day of rememberance. A day of joy. A day of resiliance, strength and freedom.

I feel blessed with the entire life I have had. I do not regret anything I have lived through. I have accepted people and things the way they are and have to be. I have learned so much about myself and the reasons why I had to go through what I went through to make me a better stronger person. To teach me that we can change how our life is, we can put things in the past, we can make a choice of the kind of life we want. We stop blaming, stop the pitty party, buckle up and get straight.

My name is Kelly and I am an alcohlic, and I am okay with that. I love my life alcohol free. I love the freedom. I love the love I now have for myself. I am powerless over alcohol but now, I have the power. I have the choice. I have it all.

This is, Being Me Sober

Leisure
beingmesober

What’s a word or phrase that annoys you?

Lets talk about words.. There are so many slang and new words that have been introduced and developed over the generations.

There’s quite a few words that annoy me when used, but one word that I won’t spell out on here because of its vulgarity, the “C” word. Its the most disgusting word I’ve ever heard. The Brittish use it quite often but add an ie at the end so it sounds more, I don’t know, nice?

That word should not even be in existence as far as I’m concerned. It is degrading, disrespectful and irritates the helk out of me and makes me want to cringe.

Please, use your manners

Leisure

Planning the perfect road trip

beingmesober

How do you plan the perfect road trip?

Ahhhhhh, a road trip. So fun as we anticipate the fun at the other end of where we will go. Planning the perfect road trip is what my husband and I have been doing for 15 years. Driving down to Florida every year to our seasonal home.

First thing we do is pack what we will be bringing down. My husband has things packed for the next drive the day we get back. We then constantly watch the weather because we leave in November and it can be beautiful or a snow/ice nightmare. We also take our furbaby to the vet to get a wellness check for the border. We have our vehicle serviced, washed and vacuumed. Road trips feel so much better in a clean vehicle. We prebook our hotels for the nights on the road. We stop before dark because of all the deer on the hwys. That is the one thing that disturbes me on the drive is seeing all the deer on the side of the road. In a perfect world the deer would know they can’t leave the forest.

We’ve had a book that we take with us and write down the hours it takes to get to places where we stay, the gas cost and temperture. Let me tell you, this year cost us double in fuel to get back home. 

I am more of a spontaneous person and will do things on the fly. No planning just doing. My husband is the planner, which works, no mishaps. As long as we get there in one piece we are good.

Our road trips are down pat and we are novice travellers of the 2,370km, 22hrs we drive twice a year, there and back. Even though we’ve done this drive for so long there is always a plan before leaving to ensure a safe and successful arrival.

Happy trails to you all for this summers road trips.

Leisure

How do I stay motivated when learning something new?

beingmesober

How do you stay motivated when learning something new?

I’m someone who loves to learn new things but only if I am interested. Of course though right, everyone is. When I have to learn something new even if I am not that interested I continue because I have a mindset of not quitting. The self pep talks. The not giving up because if I do I know I will only disappoint myself and always remember what I never completed.

My motivation is keeping my mind healthy and active. Learning adds to my life’s resume.

Its not all about exercising the body, you’ve got to keep your mind active as well.

Leisure

A thing I was obsessed with

beingmesober

What’s a thing you were completely obsessed with as a kid?

I would have to say music. Music was and is something I am obsessed with. I fell asleep as a child to Pink Floyd, Elton John, Bob Segar, and some country.

I would be getting ready for school when I lived with my mother, her alarm clock radio would be playing, Doobie Brothers, Chris Chistopherson…you get the picture. Her favorite was Tammy Wynette and Patsy Cline.  I was fortunate to have both parents love and listen to a wide range of music. 

I was 5 when my dad bought me my first RCA Red and White record player with 2 Rod Stewart 45’s. I was also one of those teenagers walking down the street with the ghetto blaster aka boom box, on my shoulder, after installing 100 C batteries!!

Music is in my everyday life. I watch the morning news shows, mostly for noise as I scroll on my phone. Once 10am hits or sooner, tv is off and the Bose music system plays all day.

Having music is very therapeutic and gives you a lift in your day. So the next time you’re feeling a little slump in your day, crank that music on and dance the day away!

Leisure

My Ideal Life…

beingmesober

If you had to describe your ideal life, what would it look like?

My ideal life would be the one I’m living right now. Full of love, clarity and support. Of course there are some rough times but we work through. My life is calm and fulfilling.

I’m happy with the life I have built and have rised from. I will never regret the life I had to get to where I am. Its built strength, character and shown me the life I truly want.

Life isn’t easy but if you’ve got the right people beside you on your journey you really can have the life you dream of.

Lifes waiting, go get it!

Leisure

The best concert I’ve been to.

beingmesober

What is the best concert you have been to?

It was 1983, I was 13 years old and my favorite singer was coming to Toronto. MJ himself, Michael Jackson! He was my favorite. His music, his dance, his everything.

My best friend and I took the bus then the subway downtown Toronto. At 13 years old that was huge. There were no cell phones back then so parents just had to trust that their kids would be okay. I look back now and think how responsible we were at that age. I didn’t worry about anything but seeing  Michael Jackson. His moves, his moon walk that I had mastered and the famous silver glove! The way he moved was incredible along with his style of music to get people up and dancing.

To this day I still love him and his music. Anytime I hear any of his songs my dance autopilot comes on whether its car dancing or the entire living room becomes our dance hall  just for me and Michael. 

He passed away the day before my birthday June 25th 2009. His music will live on forever and he will always be my favorite dance teacher.

RIP King of Pop.

Leisure, Mental Health

I wrote a book!

beingmesober

Hello fellow warrior’s! I hope you’re all striving to be your best selves.

I was sitting here thinking to myself, I can’t believe I haven’t shared that I actually wrote a children’s story. I wrote it in 2021 and it was published in March of 2022. 

If you can think back to that time when not only did we have Covid 19 almost at it’s end and countries getting back to a new normal, there was also a report on a school in Ontario, Canada, about all the indingenous children found buried on properties all over the school grounds. I was mortified and in shock that humans can actually treat others this way, especially inoccent babies, children. Their parents were told their child were missing. I am still in shock as I write this. Since then the Natives have had recognition and acceptance. They are amazingly talented people and have great Heritage. We are here to love one another and accept one another for who we are and the kindness, the helping, and the caring that we should be showing for each other.

I had to do something. It was in me to do something to help. I wanted to send a message but I didn’t know how I would do it.

Along the way in my sobriety journey I picked up a talent I never realized I had and that is Art. Painting, creating. I fell in love with it instantly. I had drawn a picture of a Flamingo one morning and as I sat and observed it, I decided to add a Bumblebee to the picture. All of a sudden the story came to me. Oh, I was excited. That’s how I could get a message out. Write a book! Write it for children so we can teach them about inclusion, diverstiy and caring and most of all acceptance. Mingo N Bumble were born!

Mingo N Bumble

A Flamingo and Bumblebee become friends by not being afraid to ask questions or not befriending a person because of what they look like. Flamingo and Bumblebee are 2 very different beings and I believe expressing it this way to children makes it fun while sending and sharing a message.

I am very proud of what I have written and shared with many people. I didn’t write the book to be known or for the money, I did it because I care for humanity. I did it because it’s something I can leave behind as apart of my legacy. I did it because I love you, all of you.

If you would like to check out my book you can view it on the link below…

https://books.friesenpress.com/store/title/119734000214051206