What’s a thing you were completely obsessed with as a kid?
I would have to say music. Music was and is something I am obsessed with. I fell asleep as a child to Pink Floyd, Elton John, Bob Segar, and some country.
I would be getting ready for school when I lived with my mother, her alarm clock radio would be playing, Doobie Brothers, Chris Chistopherson…you get the picture. Her favorite was Tammy Wynette and Patsy Cline. I was fortunate to have both parents love and listen to a wide range of music.
I was 5 when my dad bought me my first RCA Red and White record player with 2 Rod Stewart 45’s. I was also one of those teenagers walking down the street with the ghetto blaster aka boom box, on my shoulder, after installing 100 C batteries!!
Music is in my everyday life. I watch the morning news shows, mostly for noise as I scroll on my phone. Once 10am hits or sooner, tv is off and the Bose music system plays all day.
Having music is very therapeutic and gives you a lift in your day. So the next time you’re feeling a little slump in your day, crank that music on and dance the day away!
If you had to describe your ideal life, what would it look like?
My ideal life would be the one I’m living right now. Full of love, clarity and support. Of course there are some rough times but we work through. My life is calm and fulfilling.
I’m happy with the life I have built and have rised from. I will never regret the life I had to get to where I am. Its built strength, character and shown me the life I truly want.
Life isn’t easy but if you’ve got the right people beside you on your journey you really can have the life you dream of.
It was 1983, I was 13 years old and my favorite singer was coming to Toronto. MJ himself, Michael Jackson! He was my favorite. His music, his dance, his everything.
My best friend and I took the bus then the subway downtown Toronto. At 13 years old that was huge. There were no cell phones back then so parents just had to trust that their kids would be okay. I look back now and think how responsible we were at that age. I didn’t worry about anything but seeing Michael Jackson. His moves, his moon walk that I had mastered and the famous silver glove! The way he moved was incredible along with his style of music to get people up and dancing.
To this day I still love him and his music. Anytime I hear any of his songs my dance autopilot comes on whether its car dancing or the entire living room becomes our dance hall just for me and Michael.
He passed away the day before my birthday June 25th 2009. His music will live on forever and he will always be my favorite dance teacher.
My husband always says I talk a lot. I would say I’m a deep conversationalist and have to tell myself to hush at times. I analyze, hold eye contact and I listen but also like to have my say.
I enjoy talking about things I am confident and knowledgeable about. I also like talking or topics about things I’m curious about.
Sobriety is a topic I could talk about all day. There are so many other topics that lay in discussions involving addiction.
Astrology is fascinating to me. I’m always curious about all the crystals and the magic they can do.
Spirituality is another topic I could sit and chat about.
Topics get people talking which in turn gets people sharing and coming together. The more we talk the more we learn.
Would a blind date be a risk? I guess it was for me. What happens if it totally goes wrong, what if I really like him but he doesn’t like me?
My stepfather started talking about this gentleman shortly after I was separated from my ex. My stepfather kept asking if this person had called me yet. He was telling me how he would be perfect for me. Makes decent money and is raising his 2 daughter’s on his own. I told him the last thing I need is a man in my life. I wanted to and had to concentrate on what I was doing, where I was going. I was emotionally unavailable, I wasn’t myself then. I was drinking and raising 2 young children.
2 years has gone by and my stepfather is still talking to me about this guy! He’s also talking too the gentleman about me, and asking if he’s called yet. My stepfather was determined for us to meet.
May 23 2006 my future husband called. He asked if I wanted to meet up for coffee. Of course we both felt obligated to go on the date so I said sure!
I was skeptical about him because he is in the financial industry and he is not someone that I typically go for. He is 10 years older than me which was a plus. More secure and knew what he wanted. But I had this image in my mind that he was a “Banker” I had an image of Mr. Cleaver in my mind. I thought he probably doesn’t even drink. Little did I know. Little did he know.
We went for a walk around the lake and to my surprise he asked if I wanted to go for a beer somewhere. Ohhhh wow! Okay, he does drink. Well ya! I responded. Luckily we had to drive home so we couldn’t stay long. He asked me if I wanted to go for dinner the following evening. I accepted. He was/is super nice, good looking and wants so many things that I want. What was really attractive was the fact he was raising 2 teenaged daughters on his own. He is an amazing father.
May 25 2026 will be 20 years we’ve been together! 13 years married and ironically it is also 17 years of sobriety for me. That determination my stepfather had I am extremely thankful and grateful for. He did more than set us up, he saved me in a way he never knew, I never knew. When we met for coffee that day it was the beginning of something so magical and heaven sent.
I took a risk that day by meeting someone totally out of character for me and it changed not only my life but my kids too. We had a lot of work ahead of us but we made it through. We have an amazing blended family with 7 grandchildren.
I will never regret saying yes to the “Banker”. Nor will I ever forget what these 2 men brought to my life 🙏❤️
Ugh, another day in the car. 8hrs today. Temps going from 93° to a balmy 45° as we make our trek back up North from Florida.
We are lucky and get to spend 6 months in Florida and 6 months back home in Ontario, Canada. Every year for the past 15 years we’ve made the 22hr drive to paradise. We spent 15 years in Ft. Lauderdale and moved to the West Coast in November to be closer to our oldest daughter, her husband and their 2 boys. My father lived on the West Coast since 97 and moving there was another reason. We managed to make amends and get back to each other but unfortunately he passed away before the move. Even though hes no longer here, I still feel close to him and can visit his cript any time. I guess another first thought would be my dad. Feeling as if I’m leaving him behind. If you’ve read my other blogs you can see its been quite a ride with him. My heart is full of sadness and peace at the same time.
I know hes guiding us now and keeping us safe 🙏. As we drive through all the states and city’s, over the bridges and through the beautiful mountains I sit and gaze out the window singing along to all the music, I swear I know every song, and cherish every memory I have with my dad traveling down these same roads and asking the question, “Are we there yet?”
Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.
Decisions, decisions. We all have decisions to make, some major changes or little changes over time.
The one decision I’ve made over the last while are setting boundaries. Boundaries for things or people that aren’t aligned with you. Boundaries for respect and being treated the way you deserve.
I’ve been setting boundaries around people since I’ve been in recovery. It took a long time for me to see and accept that these people were not growing as I was. They were still stuck in their old ways, their lifestyle hadn’t changed and no longer offered the type of love or recognition I deserved. I couldn’t stand by and watch or hear the lies and betrayal. I couldn’t accept the fact that there was no accountability for actions that were done. I couldn’t play the game any longer. I couldn’t keep the secrets and pretend everything was as it looked. I had to walk away, slowly, until I realized this isn’t something I want to do anymore. I was tired of fighting to be seen and heard. I was tired of him choosing alcohol over his family. Over himself. I was just so tired.
I was exhasted and sick of fighting for myself and what I deserved. Finally, I woke up and chose myself instead of forming to what others wanted me to do or be. I was tired of the people closest to me treating me like their punching bag and saying whatever they wanted to me.
Since I was little I’ve been subjected to verbal and physical abuse. That left me feeling extremly insecure. It allowed me to accept things that a stronger version of myself would not tolerate. I was living in fear, flight or fight mode for so long until I made the decision to change it. Until I was healthy enough, until my mind and eyes were clear. No haze, no denial. The more I got better the more I couldn’t accept this behavior towards me. It was time I stood up for myself no matter who it was that I had to walk away from in order to learn and grow.
There will be more hard decisions I will have to make as time goes on but I am learning to only accept those that have respect and offer me the same as I offer them, people or things that elevate me, bring me peace and stability.
The one decision I made to want better for myself and my inner being was never an easy one because walking away meant no more talking, no more visits, no more acknowledgment from the one person I depended on more than life itself. The one person who was my best friend and confidant. The one person I held secrets for for so many years. The one person that truly held my heart. My dad. I’ve never felt a true heart ache until I walked away and got no phone call or message asking where I went or what was wrong. I waited so many years for him to acknowledge me and that never came. It really opened my eyes to the true man he was. Lost in his own trauma that he never made the decision to change. I could no longer be a part of his trauma.
This year I am being selfish and protecting myself from others unresolved trauma that they force upon me with their hurtful words or accusations. I am setting boundries to improve my life, my stability and recovery.
Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you.
I’d like to honor this post to my God Mother who is also my Aunt. Aunt Lee Ann. She passed away March of 2025, she was the oldest of 4 children and the sister to my father, who passed a month earlier, in February of 2025. Yes, together they left.
Aunt Lee has a son and daughter. We were extremely close growing up and still are. My cousins became like a brother and sister growing up together like that.
Lee Ann was a strict Catholic and when her 2 kids were older and had moved on with their own lives, she started getting more involved with the church, she did some tremendous work all over the world . She helped many and devoted her life to the church. While she was busy doing her life, no matter how busy or what part of the world she was in, she never let a birthday or Christmas go by without sending me a message. It had to be sent at 12:00am exactly every year so she could be the first to wish me a happy birthday 🎂, or a Merry Christmas. I was also told I made the best tea ever! Ha, til I figured out her game 🤔. Some of my favorite memories throughout my life are with her.
She played a very positive roll in my life. She guided me and helped me get through some of the worst times with my dad and our estrangement. She was the only one who totally understood where I was coming from and kept me sane pretty much.
I miss her, but I know she is up there watching over me, still guiding me. She will always be the first voice I hear on my birthday, wishing her, “favorite niece” the best birthday from her, “favorite God Mother and favorite Aunt”.
My favorite restaurant will take us back to the 70s. Mr. GreenJeans. Downtown Toronto, in the Eaton Center. It was located in the corner of the massive 4rd floor of the mall, I think 🤔. It was so so cool. My mom would take me when I visited on the weekends. I would have been 9 then. The restaurant had huge high top tables and green chairs. It was set up with greenery and ivy trellises, beautiful flowers, with parrots, fake, in tree branches all over the restaurant. It made you feel like you were in a jungle or rain forest. They served the best burgers and fries with a milkshake! After a long day of shopping we needed a good lunch and Mr. Green Jeans was my favorite.
Fast forward to the year 2012, we had a condo in Ft. Lauderdale and always hung out at a place on the corner by the beach called 101 by the Ocean. My husband and I met so many great people there during our 15 years on that coast.. One evening I was speaking to a gentleman who was from Toronto, ohhhh, where abouts, I asked, he was from Rosedale a very posh area of the city, then he said he owned a restaurant in the Eaton Center, and guess which one???? MR. GREENJEANS! I was beside myself. You’d think I just met God! I was almost screaming with excitement and yelling for my husband to tell him who I actually just met. He thinks I’m crazy 🤪 Take our picture, take our picture. I hadn’t even asked this poor man if I could take his picture. Lucky he was friendly and most definitely loved the attention. I couldn’t wait to send my mom the picture and tell her who it was in that picture…She flipped out lol.
His name is Shelley aka Mr. GreenJeans, and a lovely man. I was so honored to meet the man who built something that I still love today. He had played a part in my happiness as a child and left me with such fun memories that I will cherish forever.
What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?
Hello fellow warrior’s!
Its hard to narrow down what brings me happiness through the day to just 5 things but here are some that bring me to a happy level.
Waking up is of course the first thing that makes me happy. What the day will bring while my dog Gracie, a golden retriever, is sprawling all over me, or doing the stare from above to wait to see an eye peek open.
My coffee! Aw, the smell and taste of that first sip of brewed coffee. A splash of hazelnut and the warm sensation that perks me up.
Getting my morning phone calls from my kids. Sharing their day from the day before and what their plans are for day ahead. The everyday I love yous to fill my heart and put a smile on my face.
Playing with Gracie in the pool or going for long trail walks.
Ending the day with my husband and Gracie, with a good dinner and movie, a beautiful sunset by the beach or some good conversations under the stars and moonlight.
It doesn’t take much to make me happy. Some good conversations, laughter and love are what my happiest days are filled with. Oh, and maybe a little shopping 🛍.
Being Me Sober 