My husband will say he feels sorry for me and my past. I always respond saying, “Don’t feel sorry for me. Thank you though for your concern and empathy.”
What I’ve been through has given me strength and resilience I never knew I had in me.
I’ve forgiven and tried my best to understand why the people who loved me the most could hurt me the most.
I’m a 70s born Gen X, who along with the others grew ourselves up. The latch key kids. The generation that went out and stayed out til the street lights came on. Our parents had no idea where we were. My grandmother always told me to keep a quarter in my pocket so I could call home if I was in trouble.
I love the generation I grew up in. We were so free.
That generation was still “quiet” though. No one talked of abuse or mental health issues. It stayed in the home and we thought it was normal. When someone would speak of it, people would question their validity of the accusations. It wasn’t discussed in public, it was not acceptable to speak of such things.
I was 4 when I knew what I seen was very wrong. I was 8 when I said no more. I was 15 when I confronted my father and said what I thought. I was 18 when I was forced to be independent.
I was the child that spoke up when I had enough. I was the teenager who spoke her truth and stood up for all women. I was the adult full of anger, secrets that were ready to be revealed, full of sorrow, defense and alcoholic.
I am now free. I am free of my past. Free of alcohol. Do I regret it? NEVER.
What we go through in life is what builds us. Either we do better and want better or we continue the same cycle for generations to come. I wanted way better for myself. The life I had growing up was something that taught me to respect myself, never let people hurt me physically or mentally, treat my children with love and support no matter what. It taught me that if and when I fell, I will get back up. My past taught me a lot and made me who I am and what I stand for.
There will always be people who have worse situations than us. Take what you’ve had and use it as a lesson. Do better and be better.
Don’t be sad or drown in it. Take it and use it to go forward and be successful. Take it and make it powerful and meaningful. Take it and change it.
Love the life you’ve been given. Only you can do that.
This is Being Me Sober
Being Me Sober 