Tag: dailyprompt

Leisure

How would I improve my community?

beingmesober

How would you improve your community?

Our community consists of probably 30,000 people in the winter and jumps to over 100,000 in season. My husband and I live in a beach town just north of Toronto. The beach is beautiful, nature trails are so rustic and calming, a few restaurants, a few big box stores and lots of people with not much to do to  accommodate them through the winter months. Ghost town.

The main beach is being restored and revamped which is exciting. Its been the same for so many years and had gone down hill.  That is a huge improvement for our town. The next thing that needs improvement are the hotels/motels around town. I would consider getting volunteers to help bring life back to these places. Beautiful gardens. Donations to revive the interior finishes. Age limits on renters, no monthly rentals. I understand people need places to go but the upkeep has to be mandatory as well. Noone wants to drive by and see garbage, mattresses on their front porch, old ratty furniture outside. We need more people in our community to lend a hand to those less fortunate and help repair, rebuild and keep the community beautiful.

I’d love to have boutiques in our community.  Somewhere to shop for unique items. Maybe a cool coffee shop to visit after, other than the original Tim Hortons or Starbucks, one that you can’t wait to visit to sit and enjoy the atmosphere and delicious coffee.

There’s always improvements to be made in any community but what really matters is how the community bonds together and are proud to live there.

Do your part to help with the community you live in, together we can all make it better. Reach out to your neighbor and be kind to the people around you.

Together we win 🫶

Mental Health

How I’ve adapted after the Pandemic.

beingmesober

How have you adapted to the changes brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic?

Covid! What a time. Strange and scary. So many changes.

I was really always a home body but since covid I believe I’ve become more of a home body.

I loved going shopping. Outlets, malls, the bigger the better, but now find myself ordering online, I feel overwhelmed in some stores because there just so packed. I don’t have the patience to be going through all the racks like I used to. Is it age or due to the fact we spent 2 years indoors and got use to the convenience of online shopping?

Although, Covid helped me discover art and the creative side of myself on canvas. That was a blessing. It gave some of us time to just sit and get uncomfortable and absolutely bored, but opened up areas of yourself that were hidden because we are a rushed society and have no time to spend on ourselves.

We are forced to adapt to our surroundings at times. We have to otherwise we’d go crazy or be left behind. We adapt quickly and carry on as best we can.

I’ve adapted to fist pumps instead of hugs when friends or family are not feeling well. I’ve adapted to seeing more masks on people and not finding it strange.

The one thing, several things, that are hardest to adapt to are the price increases on everything! How do we adapt to that when some don’t have the means necessary to adapt? The struggling I see with so many, my own adult children trying to make a life like we had up to 2020. Buying a house for 20/30 somethings is almost impossible to do on their own. Rent! Ha, shoe box for 1500-2000/month and getting paid min wage.

Somehow, we all adapt whether we like it or not. Forced to adapt to a new normal.

Art – “Pandemic and Politics” – Kelly Petrie -Kpz Art

Leisure, Mental Health

My favorite type of weather…

beingmesober

What is your favorite type of weather?

Let me start by saying my husband and I are Snowbirds, so I guess my favorite weather is sunny and warm with the smell of the ocean air. Sweet smell of cut grass and dewy mornings. Amazing sunsets by the water, wrapped in a shawl when the nights cool to a comfortable 70°. I love the way I feel in the sun and warmth. The smile and hellos from strangers because the weather has lifted their spirits.

However, I do love the odd rainy day to light my candles and have a zen day, to feel the calmness rain brings. Snow for Christmas and Fall for the colors and crisp mornings. The rejuvenation we feel when Fall has arrived awaiting what waits for us in the coming of a fresh start with nature and a new start for some of us.

Weather can be depressing at times and for long periods of time due to months of rain and/or cold, fridgid temps and isolation. Its important to have hobbies or distractions when weather isn’t ideal. There are options for getting through the cold, rainy, snowy months. Light therapy is a very helpful alternative to the actual sun. Join a gym, arrange a get together once a week, weather depending, to connect. Stock up on books and games.

Whatever your favorite weather is, soak it up and say Thank you to Mother Nature ✨️

Mental Health

How do I deal with negative feelings?

beingmesober

What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?

We all have those days. The negative ones. Some are triggered and some hormonal and some from lowered dopamine.

When I was first experiencing these negative feelings as well as intrusive thoughts, it was after my first born. Hormonal and lowered dopamine that affected everything in me. I would be sitting there thinking of ways to die, thinking of destruction and just so miserable and negative. I was never that person. Never wanted to destroy things or drive into a tree and hope to die. I was so confused and unhappy. I shouldn’t of been though. I just had a new baby a beautiful home and lots of support from my in laws. I spoke to my mother in law who spoke to her sister in law and made a visit to me and suggested I go to the doctor. I was so scared. What the helk was wrong with me. Where was the happy bubbly person that use to reside in me? I made an appointment and was diagnosed with severe depression with under active dopamine, and was given an antidepressant, Prozac. At that time Prozac had a very bad name. Suicides were being blamed from taking this drug. I was nervous but I had to try. It worked! Before I knew it I was back to being me. Happy, adjusted and enjoying life and most of all my baby boy. Trees were spared!

I have been on the antidepressants for 32 years now and I am so grateful for them. If there was no solution to this diagnosis I can say without a doubt, I wouldn’t be here. So today when I do have negative days, of course, I sit with the feelings. If I know why I am experiencing these feelings then, I sit and replay every detail, every word and tell myself it’s okay. I will get through this. If I wake one morning and don’t feel like me, I am quiet and stay to myself. My husband notices right away and always asks what’s wrong, having a bad day? Yes, I would tell him and just by talking and saying I felt horrible I felt a bit of relief.

Talking is so important when you are in a negative head space. Express what is happening, get a hug, call a friend who understands, let your feelings out, meditate. Communicating is not easy for everyone especially when feeling this way. Just remember you’re not alone and it’s temporary.

So sit with your feelings, analyse your feelings, talk about your feelings, journal your feelings, but always know, it’s gonna be okay.

Leisure, Uncategorized

From failure to success

beingmesober

How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?

Fail! Who wants to see that on a paper or class grades! Who wants to think of being a failure.  No one, but we do at times and it can be a horrible feeling.

When I knew I wanted to sell real estate my children were still young and I wanted to be there for them and knew that real estate would be a demanding career. So in 2009 I paid and signed up for the course. I was super excited to finally start my career.

I was still actively drinking at that time and failed the first phase 3 times! I quit and gave up and thought of myself as a failure and did the whole self sabotage thing.

My husband and I went on a trip with our good friends 3 months after I failed my exams, but I was also 3 months sober. Ugh, what a hard time that was as I look back. One evening when we were out my friend asked what was happening with my course and I told her I failed. She asked if I was enrolled again. I said no, I can’t do it. She turned to me and told me to sign up, to do it again, that I can do this if I really want it. You can do this she told me.

After returning home I signed up once again. I passed the 1st phase the second exam, the third phase on the first shot!! Whoohoo! The third phase took 2 tries, then the commercial side of it, I almost quit again after the 4th attempt at the exam. My daughter told me not to give up, that I’d come this far and that that is the advise I would give to her. Hmmm, how can I quit, I couldn’t.  If for nothing I had to keep going to show my children what determination and commitment looks like.

I finally did it!!! 2010 was the year I was a licensed Realtor!!! My dream came true. I was so proud of myself for sticking to it and not giving up. My kids were proud, my husband was proud and my friend was so proud.

My career was very successful and I did well. I loved the opportunity and experience of helping people move towards their dream. I felt like I had made it. I was something, I was smart and capable of anything I put my mind and effort into. Even after failing all those times it made me love and appreciate it more.

Failure isn’t failing. Its experience and allows us to do better. Failure gives us appreciation when we succeed, ✨️ its about not giving up, and getting back up, it shows how strong we are and how capable we truly are.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

Mental Health

What experiences in life helped me grow the most.

beingmesober

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

There are so many experiences we go through in life and don’t even realize how much we have grown. I think its later in life that we look back and relive the experience to see how much we’ve grown, how much it taught us and what strength we are capable of.

Having my children helped me grow, grow into the mother I always wanted to be. My divorce gave me so much fear but also strength and from that I grew to a stronger, independent, and determined person. My sobriety has also shown me just how strong I am. My determination and dedication to making myself better. That was a huge growth for me. I was finally able to walk alone if I ever had too. It gave me the peace and happiness and calmness I searched for for 39 years. I grew into someone I was proud of, who my children and husband can be proud of.

I continue to grow every day. To be better, live better and take care of myself and those around me.

The experiences we go through in life will either lift us or bury us. Take these experiences and learn from them, enjoy them, but always grow from them.

Leisure, Mental Health

What bores me..

beingmesober

What bores you?

When I was about 10, I told my dad one day as he was digging a huge trench for hedges around our new home, I told him I was bored! Man, was that a mistake. He looked at me and said, “You have a bike, a pool everything you want, and you’re bored”? “Ya, I said, “I dont want to do any of that.” He told me to grab a shovel and start digging and fill up the wheelbarrow, when I was full to take it down the road. Down the road wasn’t just 2 houses down, it was a good jaunt and I think I did about 10 loads. I was exhausted and made a mental note that day to never tell my dad I was bored.

Today however I sometimes get into a funk where I want to do so many things but can’t seem to get the motivation. Then, I feel bored! What is that? I don’t enjoy those days but I know they will pass.

Mental Health

What my parents were doing at my age.

beingmesober

What were your parents doing at your age?

My parents. Well, let’s see, I’m 55 now, so when they were my age now I was 35.

My mom was and is still married to her husband and they were still working and still going out any chance they could on a Saturday night. Funny, because that’s when my mom and stepfather gave the drink up too, soon after we partied one last time. What a night it was, so so fun! We sang all night long taking turns with the karaoke, we danced all night and eventually closed the bar. We were all so hungover. My mom and stepfather swore they’d never drink again. Although they miss it, they never did drink again. They were so full of life. Today, my stepfather is drastically broken down physically and is mostly bed ridden. My mom is still spunky but slower. Im sure she has one more party in her, a drink free party that is.

Me and Mom

My dad, he was living in Florida and had a successful business, a beautiful home on the canal with a Bertram Yaght and on his 4th wife. Yup! Forth wife! Anyways, he was happy, successful and seemed like he had it all. We were very close and I flew down every chance I could to spend time with him.  He worked hard and played hard. He was a young 55, and even though he ran a business he didn’t have a problem staying up partying in his games room with whoever showed up. He rode Harleys and played the character well. He loved racing down the street in his Corvette when the right opportunity came. He never got past the age of 19, he stayed young. Both my parents stayed young, and im happy to have inherited that quality of character.

Ironic this question was asked today. My father was put on life support one year ago tomorrow due to a severe heart attack awaiting surgery. He was taken off February 19th 2025.

Today has been a rather sad day. I’ve been thinking of my dad and all the times we shared laughing and having a blast but also turbulence during those years. The speed of time, the moments, the glimpse of another time now gone.

I often reflect about them being  at this age, then this age, them at my age at 55.

I now know why my mom did certain lifestyle changes at 55, but at 35, I didn’t quite get it.

I also know that my dad should have changed his lifestyle way before his 4th wife but it wasn’t up too me. I did however have conversations with him asking, telling him to change.

He passed away married to his 5th wife but very sick and unhappy. Rest his soul.

Looking where they are now and knowing in 20 years I will be my moms age, first is crazy, but second, I’m going to take care of myself and enjoy every single day I have, as I do now but do better, be better and stay young ❤️

Mental Health

How time and life events has influenced me

beingmesober

How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?

The passing of time has been on my mind recently, losing my father almost a year ago, feeling like it went so fast. Missing him.

Thinking of how my mom is getting up there at 76, while she stills seems so young to me. Her voice is young but I can slightly hear little bits of age, we meet at the mall and I can see how tired she gets now. All day shopping is long behind us. Its then I realize she’s getting older. She is young at heart and that’s what keeps her spunky and alive. When we laugh on the phone its like we are so young.

I appreciate the time I have on earth and being able to get older. I can hang out with our kids and  watch them with their kids, having grandchildren watching them grow and be young enough to play and indulge a bit. I never take for granted that it could be my last time. I thank God everyday for the life I have and the time im given.

Life events that have happened.  This one is very close to home, as they say. I was speaking of the mall earlier, how mom and I would meet up, I would go there as a teenager and hang out but its not the same anymore. Its not a place to hang out anymore because if you do you look suspicious.  The mall where I meet my mom is in Newmarket, Ontario, it had been robbed, smash and grab, THREE, 3 times in a month!

Then my son and wife were at the mall in Barrie, Ontario and a kiosk got robbed!! Right in front of them. They had their, my grandson with them who’s a baby!!! I mean what is happening.  I hate what is happening to our communities and Countries. When will the madness end. I’m nervous now when my mom says she’s going to the mall. I tell her to be aware, always have your phone ready to grab, always check your surroundings.

We all have to be safe. But try to stay positive at the same time and try not to give in to the anger or ignorance of others. Listen and pay attention. Keep your faith and smile at someone when you walk by, say thank you when someone holds the door for you. Together we win

Mental Health

What I’m most scared to do?

beingmesober
Daily writing prompt
What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?
View all responses

This is a good question. One of my most scariest thing to do is putting myself out there. Putting myself in the lime light in front of millions of people scrolling through social media. opening myself up to opinions and negative feedback. Telling my deep secrets but also possibly helping so many others by doing what I’m terrified to do.

I’m an outgoing spontaneous person but not one that likes to be focused on or center of attention. It’s the first of anything new that makes us nervous.

What it would take for me to do it would be to just do it. Stop listening to the voices in my head and start listening to the people and supporters that keep telling me to share my story. Stop the fear of the unknown.

Part of why I am scared or nervous to start is that there are more people involved in my story than just me and I don’t want to hurt anyone by sharing.

The artwork in this post was created by me, KPZ Art. It’s a hobby I discovered during my sobriety journey. It’s amazing what you can achieve when you’re living your best life!