Tag: dailyprompt

Leisure

A quote that describes my outlook on life…

beingmesober

What’s a quote that perfectly describes your outlook on life?

It’s a quote from the Old Testament, Book of Job (Job1:21)

“The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away”

It is not a rule nor is it a law. It is a way of life. It’s the blessings we receive while on earth. The blessings of the Lord and our passed loved ones. It’s about believing and feeling it in your soul and heart. It’s living right. Helping one another. Offering love and patience and a gentle hand, listening and speaking truth.

Life is a lesson. We are here to learn and to make life the best we can, take every opportunity. Enjoy what you have and love those who love you. Be grateful for each blessing. Your thoughts become your reality. So be careful what you let sit and take up space in your mind.

My husband and I saw the headlines years ago when Tiger Woods and his first wife split after she went after him with a golf club, finding out about his affairs. He had everything a person could want. Successful PGA golfer, a beautiful wife, children and anything at his fingertips! He was the world’s number ONE golfer! I understand the addiction part of it of course, but I just knew his career would be greatly impacted.

All I said after watching the news that day was, “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away”

When given blessings in life, be very grateful and never take for granted those opportunities or blessings. Never take for granted the people that mean the most to you.

Work hard, play hard but always be a good human. Choose love over hate. Forgive but never forget. Smile at someone as you walk by, use your manners and offer a hand. Don’t gossip and don’t be greedy. Be true to yourself and those around you.

Sometimes the happiest people in the world are the ones who live with very little. Life isn’t about dying a multi millionaire or how big your home is or how many you have and the cars to go with it. Sure we all want some of that, but it always comes down in the end to those standing around you and sharing the memories that money can’t buy. Thinking about the time we have here and what we’ve done with it.

I’ve been blessed in this life. I will never regret what I’ve gone through to be here, I am grateful for the lessons that taught me strength and patience. I’m proud of my sobriety and the Mother I have been thus far,

Love and appreciate everything around you.

Leisure, Mental Health

One life changing tip…

beingmesober

If you had to give one life-changing tip, what would it be?

The one life changing tip I would offer is giving up alcohol.

When you make a change such as giving up alcohol you will notice huge changes over time.

Sleep quality, quiet mind, savings, no hangovers, more motivation, priorities change, healthy heart and liver, no shame, no explaining, more love for yourself, better mood. There is so much more to not drinking and removing it from your life.

Many people think it makes life boring, it’s the complete opposite. Waking up every morning feeling fresh and functional is worth removing the alcohol.

Give it a try, not for just a month, try 6 months then another 6 months. You will be questioning yourself whether you really do want to pick up the drink. You may enjoy the clear mornings and an amazing sleep. You may enjoy all the extra energy and the amazing feeling of LIFE!

Who am I to say tho, I only have 17 years alcohol free under my belt and I am loving life!

Leisure, Mental Health

What’s my home decoration style?

beingmesober

What’s your home decoration style?

Lets talk decorating!!!! Just one of my favorite topics!

I have to say interior design has always been in me. My room growing up was so meticulously clean and styled. I knew right from grade 11 that I wanted a career in interior design. Life had other plans.

My husband and I have renovated and designed 5 houses together over the last 20 years. Staying up-to-date with the trends and maintaining the home as needed.

I would say my style of decorating is classy chic modern. I like clean lines, light furniture with colorful accents.  Calm and cozy. I do not like clutter. Displaying only a few items of decor. Less is more.

Our Home we sold in South Florida

I love bringing the outside in. A continous flow from outdoors to indoors. We love being outside so our outdoor space needs to be just as stylish and comfortable as the inside.

Our Backyard in South Florida

Our home in Ontario is more of a beachy rustic style. Again bringing the outdoors in. We live at the beach there also so we use beachy but northern rustic style decorating.

Our Backyard in Ontario

I just love sitting in these spaces we’ve created. I feel very blessed when I think of what we have accomplished together. I feel proud of myself when people come to visit and they love what we have done. They feel comfortable and calm in our space and can’t wait to return.

You want your home to be your recluse and safe space. Somewhere to hang your hat and feel happy and relaxed in your home.

All it takes sometimes is a can of paint and some elbow grease. Change out handles on your cupboards for a fresh look. Thrift shopping 2nd hand items that are in good shape can really make the difference if you can’t afford a big project. Ask friends or family if they have items you can have to spruce up your place. Reuse, recycle. Have you ever heard of curb shopping? Grab a coffee and cruise the neighborhood for discarded furniture thats repairable or in good shape. Who has to know?

Decorating is not for everyone but there’s always someone willing to help get the style that’s uniquely yours.

Stay trendy! ⚒️🏠

Leisure

The funniest misunderstanding I’ve been part of….

beingmesober

What’s the funniest misunderstanding you’ve ever been part of?

It wasn’t a big group of people that were involved in this misunderstanding…

Years ago, I had to claim bankruptcy due to some unusual circumstances that I had been going through. Its a whole other conversation. 

Here goes. While watching the news one evening the news anchor said noone from Canada will be able to travel to the United States without a Visa. You can see where this is going. I turned to my ex and said, “OH my gosh, I can never go to the States! I need a Visa!!!” What? He says.. I said, “Did you not just hear what the news said?!!” He looked at me and started laughing his head off. I did not think this was funny at all. My dad lives in Florida, how will I be able to see him. My ex says,”It’s not an actual Visa credit card, it’s a traveling Visa, so your good!”

Hahahahhahahahhha. Will never forget that misunderstanding 🤪 I am Blond and certainly had a Blonde moment.

I do have a Visa, and a Capital One card so I’m free to go wherever I want! 👌😁

Cheers and happy traveling.

Leisure

What app eats my time and do I feel bad?

beingmesober

What app eats up most of your screen time — and do you even feel bad about it?

The app that gets me most when I do venture on is Tik Tok. I have found so many talented artists on there. I also get hooked on all the tarot card readers. All the gypsies and crystal ball readers. I love seeing the way people dress to character too.

Do I feel bad about it? No and yes. I love scrolling with my coffee in the morning watching all the pet reels and and craft videos for new ideas to keep me busy! However, I do find if I spend too much time on my app it can affect my mood. I feel sluggish and not energized. It leaves me in an unmotivated grumpy mood.

I have to set a time limit on my screen time now. No longer than an hour. Time flies when you mindlessly scrolling  through reels. Just a flip on the screen and your mind goes to another place. Doing that for a long period of time can really make your brain go haywire, to much to process second after second.  Which in return shapes your mindset for the day.

After all, too much of anything, is never good.

Leisure

One trend I would erase….

beingmesober

If you could erase one trend from history, what would it be?

The one thing I would absolutely erase is the pants the boys/men wear that hang down their *@s! That is the most disrespectful and unnecessary trend.

What happened to dressing up. Not a 3 piece suit but a nice shirt, even a T-shirt, tucked in with a belt and a nice pair of shorts or pants/jeans. If you don’t like to have a belt or tuck in then wear a shirt that is fitting and flattering.

Gone are the days we dressed for the airport, a dinner, or going to grammas house.

Clothes don’t have to be label brands, you can shop at cheaper stores and still fit the part of a well dressed person. Its how you put the pieces together. What impression do you want to give people or employers?

First impressions are lasting impressions.  If you want respect, dress for it. If you want success, dress for it.

Noone wants to see what underwear you’re wearing.  How uncomfortable!

After all, if you look good, you feel good. Dress with style and make the right impression.

Leisure, Mental Health

Are we shaped by experiences or by who we are?

beingmesober

Do you think we’re shaped more by our experiences or by who we are?

Are we shaped by experiences or who we are? Both.

Some heavy experiences in life shape our future and who we become for sure. Sets our nervous system. Fight or flight. PTSD, traumatic stress leaves scars, some to never repair. Shapes what we think and who or what we become as adults.

Certain experiences shape who we become. Whether for good or bad.

We as humans learn through watching. Learned behavior which shapes who we are. 

My son being abused by his father verbally and physically left deep scars and who he is today at 33 years young. His anger is still present and his words at times are valgur.  I’ve tried for years to help him but to no avail it’s embedded in him. Without therapy it will continue. I often wondered if I could have left the marriage sooner maybe my son wouldn’t be as scared. I’m happy to report he is an amazing father and doesn’t mistreat his boys or wife. The trigger is there and the switch can flip at anytime.  Hopefully with support and our endless talks he will settle. His experiences definitely affected who he became.

My life experiences definitely shaped who I became. I became the change. The one who broke the chain of abuse and alcoholism. I became the black sheep of my family speaking the truth and not being blind to who certain people were. Speaking the truth left me somewhat alone but I knew what I was doing was helping my scars and becoming who I was born to be. It left me strong and capable of overcoming.

I’m now helping my daughter with her trauma and addiction for everything that has shaped her into the young 30 year old she is.  She is now in therapy and it’s going well. She is slowly becoming the sweet girl she was before all the experiences she has been through.  I will continue to break the chain and circle of alcoholism and abuse in our family.

I knew before having children,  I was going to be everything to them and help shape their life as best I could. To be successful, to love with all their heart and be a good person. To be there for them always, to not abuse them like I was abused as a child, and to not live a life of domestic violence. I would never let that happen. Unfortunately I did end up back in the violence and alcoholism but I never let it change me inside. It may have changed who I was for a short time but I came out on top and used those experiences to help me today with my own kids.

Although the past desicions and home life had a part in who I would have been I used those experiences to my advantage today. I use them to share on here and with my kids. To show them we can do better. Its up to you to decide what you do with what comes along.

Will you concour or let those experiences determine or shape who you were born to be?

Leisure

Am I a lifelong learner?

beingmesober

Are you a lifelong learner?

I believe everyone is a lifelong learner. We learn new things everyday, even if we don’t realize we are. Its also not just about education.  Its life lessons, relationships.

I do love learning and continuing my education and skills. It keeps my brain healthy and my boredom at bay.

My latest adventure into learning was sharpening my interior design skills and perfecting home staging. The course taught me a lot and educated me on what avenue I could work towards. I’m thinking of a Staging Consultant.  I don’t have the space to hold furniture, art and lights, and tons of decor etc. I don’t have containers for sellers to store their furniture when replacing it with our staging furniture. There is so much involved that I never took into account.

While in the course I got discouraged because it entailed so much more than I thought but I continued and heard of the consulting.

Learning is never a waste of time even if you never use what you’ve learned.

Knowledge is Power Power is Knowledge

-KBP

Mental Health

The hard years…

beingmesober

What’s a chapter of your life you’d title “The Hard Years” — and what got you through it?

My hardest years from 1998 – 2009. Staying in a marriage that was abusive towards me and my son. Eventually getting out. The years I drank to escape. The years I felt so alone. The years I wished I wasn’t here. The years of escape drinking.

My kids got me through those years. My son 11 and daughter 8. I had to be strong for them.

When I decided to end the marriage, 2004, it wasn’t easy. I was a stay at home mom. That was my career. I did work here and there and eventually started my own cleaning company.  I didn’t have money to up and leave.

My ex had a problem paying me support. Not because we didn’t have the money. We did. We were very successful and owned a business that he eventually destroyed. He refused to buy food for us, my car was repoed and he stopped paying the mortgage and the utilities.

My mom was in my life and had helped me with the mortgage until it sold. Her and my stepfather lent us a vehicle and somehow I was able to put food on the table.

Once our home sold, me and the kids packed up and moved closer to my mom. We left our dream home behind to never return to that part of life. As we drove away in the moving truck I was sad but happy. I was sad that it ended the way it did after 12 years together, but I was happy to have escaped, finally.

I knew we could make it just the 3 of us and I was looking forward to the future.

I was still fighting with my ex and eventually gave up on his support. Emotionally I couldn’t fight anymore. I was exhausted.

The money from selling our home wasn’t going to last and I had to start my cleaning company again in the area we moved but knew it wouldn’t be enough without my exs help. So, I put my head down and walked into the welfare office and applied.

How on earth did we get here? We had money, we had everything at such a young age. The big house, the cars, the underground pool and all the toys and there I was walking in too ask for help from the government. 

It was temporary I always told myself and no one needs to know. As soon as I made enough money to support us 3 I would get off welfare. The anger grew. The feeling of complete failure grew.

We lived on it for a year and I was back on my feet. I, we didn’t need my exs help. We can do this, and we did.

I tried to protect my kids from their father and his drunk abusive ways but the courts didn’t help. I eventually gave up on that too and decided to let my kids figure out how bad their father is and why we couldn’t stay. Why I was trying to keep them from him.

He never did pay one cent of support on his own efforts, but because I filed with the FRO – Family Responsibility Office, anytime my ex got a tax return my support was deducted or was deducted from his pay. So he stopped doing his taxes! Got a job that paid cash or just didn’t work. It was okay tho because I wasn’t stuck anymore, I was happy, I had my kids and that’s all I needed. We didn’t have a lot of money but we had each other.

I made our rental home nice and we had fun. My kids are my life and I would and did do everything and anything to make us happy and content.

The kids do have a relationship with their father. Not ideal but he’s in their life. He has helped them as they got older and of course doesn’t have to go through me to give money to get to them. So warped how some think.

Everything we went through was worth the finish line to get us too where we are now. We are happy, humble and stronger than we gave ourselves credit for. It left scars, deep deep scars especially for my son but together we made something so unimaginable into something worth fighting for. Peace and happiness.