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A risk I took that I don’t regret.

beingmesober

Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.

Would a blind date be a risk? I guess it was for me. What happens if it totally goes wrong, what if I really like him but he doesn’t like me?

My stepfather started talking about this gentleman shortly after I was separated from my ex. My stepfather kept asking if this person had called me yet. He was telling me how he would be perfect for me. Makes decent money and is raising his 2 daughter’s on his own.  I told him the last thing I need is a man in my life. I wanted to and had to concentrate on what I was doing, where I was going. I was emotionally unavailable, I wasn’t myself then. I was drinking and raising 2 young children.

2 years has gone by and my stepfather is still talking to me about this guy! He’s also talking too the gentleman about me, and asking if he’s called yet. My stepfather was determined for us to meet.

May 23 2006 my future husband called. He asked if I wanted to meet up for coffee. Of course we both felt obligated to go on the date so I said sure!

I was skeptical about him because he is in the financial industry and he is not someone that I typically go for. He is 10 years older than me which was a plus. More secure and knew what he wanted. But I had this image in my mind that he was a “Banker” I had an image of Mr. Cleaver in my mind. I thought he probably doesn’t even drink. Little did I know. Little did he know.

We went for a walk around the lake and to my surprise he asked if I wanted to go for a beer somewhere. Ohhhh wow! Okay, he does drink. Well ya! I responded. Luckily we had to drive home so we couldn’t stay long. He asked me if I wanted to go for dinner the following evening. I accepted. He was/is super nice, good looking and wants so many things that I want. What was really attractive was the fact he was raising 2 teenaged daughters on his own. He is an amazing father.

May 25 2026 will be 20 years we’ve been together! 13 years married and ironically it is also 17 years of sobriety for me. That determination my stepfather had I am extremely thankful and grateful for. He did more than set us up, he saved me in a way he never knew, I never knew. When we met for coffee that day it was the beginning of something so magical and heaven sent.

I took a risk that day by meeting someone totally out of character for me and it changed not only my life but my kids too. We had a lot of work ahead of us but we made it through. We have an amazing blended family with 7 grandchildren.

I will never regret saying yes to the “Banker”. Nor will I ever forget what these 2 men brought to my life 🙏❤️

Mental Health

The Break-Up

beingmesober

Hello fellow warrior’s! I hope you are all striving to be your best selves.

Breaking up, ugh the pain is horrible. Its never ending. The crippling anxiety and heartache. You question everything about yourself. Was it me? 🤔 You don’t think you’re ever going to have anything good in life.

Doesn’t that sound familiar? It’s the same as removing alcohol from your life. Having to be forced to be without something is going to make you grieve. It will be the same cycle as grief.

Your going to be accepting it at first, you’ll cry, or feel sad that you can no longer have this be a part of your life anymore. Then the anger sets in, and your pissed that you can’t drink! Everyone drinks! But not everyone drinks like us warrior’s do…not good! Then you feel little sputter flutters of happiness and literal excitement. You’re starting to feel proud of yourself and physically notice a difference. Your complexion is glowing, your eyes are sparkling and that smile is back and boy, do you look good!

These emotions were what I went through very early on in my first year of removing alcohol from my life. Breaking up is an example that I can use to explain to others when they are experiencing these outbursts of emotions and have no clue why.

These emotions we go through in recovery don’t last forever. You have to know it absolutely gets better. You’ve got to push through, surrounding yourself with good support groups. Take your time with yourself and most importantly, LOVE yourself.

This is, Being Me Sober

Mental Health

The first thing that comes to mind

beingmesober

Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.

Ugh, another day in the car. 8hrs today. Temps going from 93° to a balmy 45° as we make our trek back up North from Florida.

We are lucky and get to spend 6 months in Florida and 6 months back home in Ontario, Canada. Every year for the past 15 years we’ve made the 22hr drive to paradise. We spent 15 years in Ft. Lauderdale and moved to the West Coast in November to be closer to our oldest daughter, her husband and their 2 boys. My father lived on the West Coast since 97 and moving there was another reason. We managed to make amends and get back to each other but unfortunately he passed away before the move. Even though hes no longer here, I still feel close to him and can visit his cript any time. I guess another first thought would be my dad. Feeling as if I’m leaving him behind. If you’ve read my other blogs you can see its been quite a ride with him. My heart is full of sadness and peace at the same time.

I know hes guiding us now and keeping us safe 🙏.  As we drive through all the states and city’s, over the bridges and through the beautiful mountains I sit and gaze out the window singing along to all the music, I swear I know every song, and cherish every memory I have with my dad traveling down these same roads and asking the question, “Are we there yet?”

This is, Being Me Sober

Mental Health

A decision I made that helped me learn and grow.

beingmesober

Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.

Decisions, decisions. We all have decisions to make, some major changes or little changes over time.

The one decision I’ve made over the last while are setting boundaries. Boundaries for things or people that aren’t aligned with you. Boundaries for respect and being treated the way you deserve.

I’ve been setting boundaries around people since I’ve been in recovery. It took a long time for me to see and accept that these people were not growing as I was. They were still stuck in their old ways, their lifestyle hadn’t changed and no longer offered the type of love or recognition I deserved. I couldn’t stand by and watch or hear the lies and betrayal. I couldn’t accept the fact that there was no accountability for actions that were done. I couldn’t play the game any longer. I couldn’t keep the secrets and pretend everything was as it looked. I had to walk away, slowly, until I realized this isn’t something I want to do anymore. I was tired of fighting to be seen and heard. I was tired of him choosing alcohol over his family. Over himself.  I was just so tired.

I was exhasted and sick of fighting for myself and what I deserved. Finally, I woke up and chose myself instead of forming to what others wanted me to do or be. I was tired of the people closest to me treating me like their punching bag and saying whatever they wanted to me.

Since I was little I’ve been subjected to verbal and physical abuse. That left me feeling extremly insecure. It allowed me to accept things that a stronger version of myself would not tolerate. I was living in fear, flight or fight mode for so long until I made the decision to change it. Until I was healthy enough, until my mind and eyes were clear. No haze, no denial. The more I got better the more I couldn’t accept this behavior towards me. It was time I stood up for myself no matter who it was that I had to walk away from in order to learn and grow.

There will be more hard decisions I will have to make as time goes on but I am learning to only accept those that have respect and offer me the same as I offer them, people or things that elevate me, bring me peace and stability.

The one decision I made to want better for myself and my inner being was never an easy one because walking away meant no more talking, no more visits, no more acknowledgment from the one person I depended on more than life itself. The one person who was my best friend and confidant. The one person I held secrets for for so many years. The one person that truly held my heart. My dad. I’ve never felt a true heart ache until I walked away and got no phone call or message asking where I went or what was wrong. I waited so many years for him to acknowledge me and that never came. It really opened my eyes to the true man he was. Lost in his own trauma that he never made the decision to change. I could no longer be a part of his trauma.

This year I am being selfish and protecting myself from others unresolved trauma that they force upon me with their hurtful words or accusations. I am setting boundries to improve my life, my stability and recovery.

The decision is yours.

This is, Being Me Sober

Leisure, Mental Health

A positive thing a family member has done for me.

beingmesober

Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you.

I’d like to honor this post to my God Mother who is also my Aunt. Aunt Lee Ann. She passed away March of 2025, she was the oldest of 4 children and the sister to my father, who passed a month earlier, in February of 2025. Yes, together they left.

Aunt Lee has a son and daughter. We were extremely close growing up and still are. My cousins became like a brother and sister growing up together like that.

Lee Ann was a strict Catholic and when her 2 kids were older and had moved on with their own lives, she started getting more involved with the church, she did some tremendous work all over the world . She helped many and devoted her life to the church. While she was busy doing her life, no matter how busy or what part of the world she was in, she never let a birthday or Christmas go by without sending me a message. It had to be sent at 12:00am exactly every year so she could be the first to wish me a happy birthday 🎂, or a Merry Christmas. I was also told I made the best tea ever! Ha, til I figured out her game 🤔. Some of my favorite memories throughout my life are with her.

She played a very positive roll in my life. She guided me and helped me get through some of the worst times with my dad and our estrangement. She was the only one who totally understood where I was coming from and kept me sane pretty much.

I miss her, but I know she is up there watching over me, still guiding me. She will always be the first voice I hear on my birthday, wishing her, “favorite niece” the best birthday from her, “favorite God Mother and favorite Aunt”.

Thank You Auntie Lee 🙏🎂🎄

Leisure

What is my favorite restaurant?

beingmesober

What is your favorite restaurant?

My favorite restaurant will take us back to the 70s. Mr. GreenJeans. Downtown Toronto, in the Eaton Center. It was located in the corner of the massive 4rd floor of the mall, I think 🤔.  It was so so cool. My mom would take me when I visited on the weekends. I would have been 9 then. The restaurant had huge high top tables and green chairs. It was set up with greenery and ivy trellises, beautiful flowers, with parrots, fake, in tree branches all over the restaurant. It made you feel like you were in a jungle or rain forest. They served the best burgers and fries with a milkshake! After a long day of shopping we needed a good lunch and Mr. Green Jeans was my favorite.

Fast forward to the year 2012, we had a condo in Ft. Lauderdale and always hung out at a place on the corner by the beach called 101 by the Ocean. My husband and I met so many great people there during our 15 years on that coast.. One evening I was speaking to a gentleman who was from Toronto, ohhhh, where abouts, I asked, he was from Rosedale a very posh area of the city, then he said he owned a restaurant in the Eaton Center, and guess which one???? MR. GREENJEANS! I was beside myself. You’d think I just met God! I was almost screaming with excitement and yelling for my husband to tell him who I actually just met. He thinks I’m crazy 🤪  Take our picture, take our picture. I hadn’t even asked this poor man if I could take his picture. Lucky he was friendly and most definitely loved the attention. I couldn’t wait to send my mom the picture and tell her who it was in that picture…She flipped out lol.

His name is Shelley aka Mr. GreenJeans, and a lovely man. I was so honored to meet the man who built something that I still love today. He had played a part in my happiness as a child and left me with such fun memories that I will cherish forever.

Thanks Mr. GreenJeans

https://www.blogto.com/eat_drink/2025/08/history-mr-greenjeans-restaurant-toronto/

Leisure, Mental Health

Five everyday things that make me happy.

beingmesober

What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?

Hello fellow warrior’s!

Its hard to narrow down what brings me happiness through the day to just 5 things but here are some that bring me to a happy level.

  1. Waking up is of course the first thing that makes me happy. What the day will bring while my dog Gracie, a golden retriever, is sprawling all over me, or doing the stare from above to wait to see an eye peek open.
  2. My coffee! Aw, the smell and taste of that first sip of brewed coffee. A splash of hazelnut and the warm sensation that perks me up.
  3. Getting my morning phone calls from my kids. Sharing their day from the day before and what their plans are for day ahead. The everyday I love yous to fill my heart and put a smile on my face.
  4. Playing with Gracie in the pool or going for long trail walks.
  5. Ending the day with my husband and Gracie, with a good dinner and movie, a beautiful sunset by the beach or some good conversations under the stars and moonlight.

It doesn’t take much to make me happy. Some good conversations, laughter and love are what my happiest days are filled with. Oh, and maybe a little shopping 🛍.

Whatever your happy is, never stop!

Mental Health, Stages

Turning Seventeen….again

beingmesober

I remember turning 17, 1987! I loved being 17. I’m not sure why but it just sounded older.  What a time to be growing up. When things were more simple, fun and felt so free. Generations before us use to say how simple life used to be. It truly was back in the “olden days.”

I’m coming up on my Seventeenth year of my sobriety journey. What an accomplishment I’ve made, together, with the ones who stayed.

So much has come from me letting go and  refusing to let alcohol run and ruin my life and those around me. I’ve developed really great relationships, I’ve been creating art for the last 7 years and selling a few pieces. I’ve learned how to set boundaries and deal with my emotions much better than I have even upto 2 years ago. I’m maturing lol. I’m valuing myself and my worth. If I don’t get the respect I deserve than they will have no place in my life. That, that was and is extremely difficult to do. Letting go of people you love to save yourself. Letting go of old patterns and old acceptances. Its just as difficult as getting clean or sober. But, one fact always remains, to better yourself you need to let go of things or people that no longer serve you.

Over the last 17 years really exciting things have happened in my life, I have 7, yes 7 grandchildren now, I’ve discovered Art, a creative skill I never knew I had, I am chasing my passions and attending college in May.

I have accepted things the way they are and the way they were. I don’t expect more from people than they can give. No more blame. I can take responsibility of the choices I made and can put them behind me. I am able to let go of the past.

I am at peace 🙏 and growing every year.

Happy Birthday to me and all my fellow warrior’s.

#togetherwewin

Mental Health

One positive change I’ve made in my life…

beingmesober

Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

There’s so many positive changes I’ve made since the biggest change which was, giving up alcohol.

In doing that I’m becoming who I am born to be. My priorities changed, my view of life changed and my healing began.

Other changes I’ve made have been to analyze my relationships. I had to let go of certain relationships to continue healing. So that I could be a better person, mother, daughter and friend. That was a very difficult change. Letting go is never easy, especially when it’s family. But, in doing that we grow.

I finally needed and demanded to be treated with respect as a person, as a mother, as a daughter and as a friend. If I want to live a full life and be truly happy inside and out, its up to me to make the necessary changes.

If you don’t like something, change it. The outcome is almost always a positive one ✨️

Be good to yourself and those around you.

Leisure

What animals make the best or worst pets?

beingmesober

What animals make the best/worst pets?

Hmmmm, I personally think dogs are the best , but I do love all animals except rodents. Yikes.

Animals are very intuitive and can be amazing support/therapy partners or just companions.

Birds are the worst. Although I love them, just not for a pet. They screech and make a horrible mess. The feed attracts mice and their feathers go everywhere! If you’re not with them constantly they pick their feathers off and you end up with a very unhappy bald bird. Did I mention if they’re flying loose they land in your mashed potatoes 🥔 🤔.  I know this from having a cockateil named Peppi. He would fly into my father’s dinner. Not fun! Its funny now but Peppi made dad real mad.

We said goodbye to Peppi and gave him to my grandfather who had the time to give and Peppi grew his feathers back. Peppi still was a frequent flyer and he learned to sing and stayed on gramps shoulder. They had a great bond. For gramps a bird was great, not so much for me or my dad, lmao 😆