Do you think we’re shaped more by our experiences or by who we are?
Are we shaped by experiences or who we are? Both.
Some heavy experiences in life shape our future and who we become for sure. Sets our nervous system. Fight or flight. PTSD, traumatic stress leaves scars, some to never repair. Shapes what we think and who or what we become as adults.
Certain experiences shape who we become. Whether for good or bad.
We as humans learn through watching. Learned behavior which shapes who we are.
My son being abused by his father verbally and physically left deep scars and who he is today at 33 years young. His anger is still present and his words at times are valgur. I’ve tried for years to help him but to no avail it’s embedded in him. Without therapy it will continue. I often wondered if I could have left the marriage sooner maybe my son wouldn’t be as scared. I’m happy to report he is an amazing father and doesn’t mistreat his boys or wife. The trigger is there and the switch can flip at anytime. Hopefully with support and our endless talks he will settle. His experiences definitely affected who he became.
My life experiences definitely shaped who I became. I became the change. The one who broke the chain of abuse and alcoholism. I became the black sheep of my family speaking the truth and not being blind to who certain people were. Speaking the truth left me somewhat alone but I knew what I was doing was helping my scars and becoming who I was born to be. It left me strong and capable of overcoming.
I’m now helping my daughter with her trauma and addiction for everything that has shaped her into the young 30 year old she is. She is now in therapy and it’s going well. She is slowly becoming the sweet girl she was before all the experiences she has been through. I will continue to break the chain and circle of alcoholism and abuse in our family.
I knew before having children, I was going to be everything to them and help shape their life as best I could. To be successful, to love with all their heart and be a good person. To be there for them always, to not abuse them like I was abused as a child, and to not live a life of domestic violence. I would never let that happen. Unfortunately I did end up back in the violence and alcoholism but I never let it change me inside. It may have changed who I was for a short time but I came out on top and used those experiences to help me today with my own kids.
Although the past desicions and home life had a part in who I would have been I used those experiences to my advantage today. I use them to share on here and with my kids. To show them we can do better. Its up to you to decide what you do with what comes along.
Will you concour or let those experiences determine or shape who you were born to be?
Being Me Sober 