Tag: #acceptance

Leisure, Mental Health

Something I’ve done that I never thought I could…

beingmesober

What’s something you’ve done that you never thought you could?

Art! I never pictured myself as an artist or someone that could paint on canvas.

Art was a class I didn’t enjoy in school but I picked in up in 2019/2020 during Covid 19. I started small. A picture of trees. Easy! As soon as I completed that I was hooked. Pinterest has been a huge inspiration for me and helped me develope the kind of art I enjoy creating and actually good at.

I’ve sold a few pieces which was exciting but I didn’t concentrate on making money from it I just loved creating and giving my friends and family a piece of what I created and they loved to hang on their wall. A bit of an ego boost! I am proud of myself for staying with my new found talent and learning new skills.

I’ve also become an author of childrens books which was never on my radar but fell into while creating art. 

I wrote Mingo N Bumble while drawing a picture of a Flamingo and Bumblebee. I had to get a message out and do my part in society.  Mingo N Bumble helps children see past the differences we all have. To help share kindness and friendship through support and being there for others.

I have another book in publishing. A sequel to Mingo N Bumble. “Mingo N Bumble meet Peli the Pelican.” Peli is injured and Mingo N Bumble help him get better and protect him while he’s recovering.  I am really excited about it and looking forward to reading my next chapter to help bring change to the world, one story at a time.

Believe in yourself and you never know what can come out of something you’ve never tried.

Come visit Storyberry Books and help be the change.

#mingonbumble

Mental Health

Being a good Person…

beingmesober

What does it mean to be a good person?

Being a good person isn’t easy for some. They’ve given up on humanity or their life has turned them cold or sadly it’s a mental illness.

Being a good person to me looks like someone that has good morals and ethics. Someone who helps others in a time of need, a simple smile to a stranger or stopping in the road when a trail of Geese are crossing. Letting someone in line at the store or on the hwy.

Do to others as you’ll have done to you. What you give is what you get. Be honest and loyal to your word. Be kind to animals. Be nice! Take the high road and apoligise when it’s needed, take accountability for your mistakes, don’t judge what you don’t know or understand.

We run into all sorts of people through this life. We don’t know what others are going through so instead of matching their energy with a nasty remark or look, ask them if they are okay. If someone is in need, help if you can.

It’s our choice what mask we are going to wear when we start our day. Being a good person doesn’t take a lot, just be genuine and kind. Be the person that when people refer to you they say what a good person you are. Leave a legacy of good and inspire others to do the same.

Be good and do good and life will do the same for you.

Mental Health

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving 🍂

beingmesober

As you can see from my title, it’s Thanksgiving here in Canada. The weather has been absolutely beautiful and we were able to enjoy the outdoors while our company was here.

Our company has left and my husband is enjoying football and resting his knee, 3 week post full knee replacement. I have to say we’ve been getting along really well and he’s improving everyday. Pain is minimal if not gone, just achy and tired. Take care of your knees!

I’m sitting outside on my front porch looking at the bay, Georgian Bay, listening to music with Gracie, my golden. I’m thinking about where I’ve been, in my mind and heart. At the age of 16, my heart was broken. All I wanted to do was die. Not knowing then at such a young age, you really don’t want to die, you want those feelings to die, that pain in your heart and in the pit of your stomach. How will you ever live through this? Oh that awful feeling or feelings that seem to take forever to leave. All you want to do is crawl in a hole and never come out.

Those feelings are real. They show you love and hurt but also making you strong. I hated when people said that to me, whatever Linda! Those Linda’s were absolutely right!  Unfortunately, if your young it will take years for you to realize. One day when you’re in your 50s and you have a moment you may think about this and say, ya, she’s right.

Whatever you go through at times it may feel like you just want out, out of this life…DON’T! Go to a safe, quiet place and cry your heart out or go to the gym and work that shit out!

Don’t let those feelings take you or make you a person afraid to open your heart.

As I sit and look at the bay, I’m so thankful this Thanksgiving that I have taken all of my heartaches and let downs and let them build strength and character for me. All the hurt has taught and allowed me to decide who and what I want around me and my family. I have not allowed it to destroy me, though at times I did attempt and for this I am forever grateful that I did not succeed and neither did my relationship with alcohol.

I’m thankful for the family my husband and I have built and what we’ve accomplished together and what’s yet to come.

I’m most thankful that I am here.

This is Being Me Sober

Leisure, Mental Health

My personal Mantra…

beingmesober

What’s a personal mantra or philosophy you live by?

The first time and place I heard it was in AA, one of our mantras.

“Yesterday is gone, Tomorrow is not promised, Today is all we have”.

It’s what I live by. I can’t do anything about yesterday, what I did or what I said, all I can do is learn from any mistakes I made and move on.

We are not promised to wake up tomorrow, it’s all up to the plan, yes, there’s a life plan.

Today, today is all we have. Focus on the day and control what you can. Be grateful for those in your life and the life your living. If you’re not happy with work, a relationship, then change it. Use today to change tomorrow. Don’t stress over things you don’t know the outcome. Don’t role-play in your mind all the what ifs. Live and like I’ve told my kids, “Just do the best you can.”

Leisure, Mental Health

How I write what people want to read?

beingmesober

How do you write what people actually want to read?

When I sit down to answer a prompt of the day or share an insight about something I am experienced with, I can only hope what I write people will read and it will help them or enlighten the readers. I hope what I write makes sense and resonates with people.

When I started this blog I wanted to share my experience with alcohol and how it changed my life for the worst. How it impacted my life growing up. I shared how and why I made the decision to give up alcohol. Writing is good for the soul and heals, it is sharing to get rid of the stigma and bring awareness to those struggling or ones that are co-dependant. Sharing our experiences helps make us feel less alone. It can happen to ANYONE.

I am also a children’s book Author and have written about acceptance and kindness. I wanted to write for children. To help them accept others that are different. We are all the same, we just may have different colored skin, we may have disabilities or we may just be shy and not able to make friends as fast as others. We all deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. Children are our future and we must teach them empathy, kindness and inclusion, especially in todays harsh world. Writing a childrens book was something that I never thought I would embark on. When I discovered my creative, art side in 2019, it led me to my book, Mingo N Bumble. A book for children talking about inclusion and acceptance and friendship.

The making of Mingo N Bumble

Writing has always been something I enjoyed like my diary, but as we age we let go of those things because we don’t have time or make time. When I write and share and recieve the comments that have helped people that is what keeps me going and keep writing.

I hope what I write people want to read and if I can help just one person, my writing is meaningful and helpful to that one. I am making an impact and that’s all I want to do.

I hope you’ve enjoyed your read and you keep coming back.

Leisure, Mental Health

My favorite cartoon character…

beingmesober

Who is your favorite cartoon character?

SNOOPY!!! I’ve watched Charlie Brown growing up and have fond memories. Who doesn’t love Snoopy!

Incase you don’t know the story behind Snoopy and Charlie Brown, let me enlighten you.

Charlie Brown adopted Snoopy from the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm after Snoopy was returned from his first owners. How lucky both Charlie and Snoopy were to have found each other. They built a relationship full of love, loyalty and trust. The show was based on real life experiences by the artist, Charles Scultz and his dog Spike.

Charles didn’t have anyone really close to him, people made fun of him and he just had a rough time. His gf rejected him and he was left alone. Instead of turning that heartbreak and rejection into something worthless, he took it and made a comic about his life and his beloved dog Spike, aka – Snoopy. How incredible and inspirational.

Since 1950 Charlie Brown with Snoopy has been a comic and character on many television sets, that never died. Its filled homes with love, laughter and relatable content for some viewers to let them know, they’re not alone. What he did for himself and others is very selfless. He let strangers into his world and we had no idea it was actually based on the artist and his dog.

Sometimes we either take what comes at us and let it eat at us or we turn that rejection into something positive. Excellence on Charles part.

While I was writing this it reminded me of the prompt from yesterday, how your mindset can influence your financial success. Charles Scultz is a prime example of how cabaple we are to be successful even when you’ve been rejected your entire youth and young adult life. Turn that negative mind into a positive mind.

While he was silently creating and healing his inner child, he was helping so many other people and I’m not sure if Charles even realized how many he helped.

Thank you Mr. Scultz for your comics and cartoons and Snoopy ❤️

Leisure, Mental Health

What being an Author has been like….

beingmesober

It’s funny labeling myself as an Author. I’ve had many labels, or worn many hats, in my career path. Some career choices I’ve made along the way haven’t been “the one”, and I’m okay with that. I’ve been able to experience so many valuable lessons and knowledge from those positions in my life.

I’ve been a hair stylist, creating hair styles. I’ve been a stay at home mom (favorite career choice btw), I was a school bus driver, so I could bring my kids with me and still earn an income. I then opened my own cleaning company and ran it successfully for 12 years. Employed 5 people and made a lot of customers happy. I’ve been a Real Estate Agent and loved every minute of it.

When I resigned from RE, it was because of a lifestyle change my husband and I had/have. Being away 6 months of the year in one place and 6 in the next was conflicting with RE so I resigned.

It was when Covid hit that I discovered my art which led me to wearing another hat of an Author of a published Children’s Book(s), one in the works.

I have to say it’s been totally different from anything I’ve done, but I know everything I’ve been through and done has led me to write. To help others. To send a message. To relate.

I want to spread messages of help. How to help. To encourage children. The young and vulnerable, vulnerable to too much. I want to instill good into the world and this is the way I can get my message to so many.

It’s a lot of work and it doesn’t just magically appear in schools, in parents hands or children’s hands. I myself have to get infront of people and share my message.

I was very nervous at first, reading to a large group of….children…I know, it should be easy but it was a tad scary. Anything new and good should make us a little scared. I got threw it and was relieved but proud. It was a great turn out and got my book into the library!

I love being an Author and creating stories. I also love being able to touch just one person, or many with my message of being kind, accepting others and friendship. My next book is about bullying. Based on a true story about me and my childhood dog Bonnie. I also hope to one day write a book about life’s challenges and sobriety. 

If you’re thinking of writing, I’m here to offer any advice I can!

Happy reading!

This is Being Me Sober

Leisure, Mental Health

A time Machine speaking to my past self and what I would say..

beingmesober

If you had a time machine and could send just one message to your past self, what would it say?

Dear Self,

Let. it. Go.

Focus on what you have in front of you.  Give time to those who give the same time to you. Don’t blame yourself for others choices.

Leisure, Mental Health

One life changing tip…

beingmesober

If you had to give one life-changing tip, what would it be?

The one life changing tip I would offer is giving up alcohol.

When you make a change such as giving up alcohol you will notice huge changes over time.

Sleep quality, quiet mind, savings, no hangovers, more motivation, priorities change, healthy heart and liver, no shame, no explaining, more love for yourself, better mood. There is so much more to not drinking and removing it from your life.

Many people think it makes life boring, it’s the complete opposite. Waking up every morning feeling fresh and functional is worth removing the alcohol.

Give it a try, not for just a month, try 6 months then another 6 months. You will be questioning yourself whether you really do want to pick up the drink. You may enjoy the clear mornings and an amazing sleep. You may enjoy all the extra energy and the amazing feeling of LIFE!

Who am I to say tho, I only have 17 years alcohol free under my belt and I am loving life!

Mental Health

My guide to setting boundries.

beingmesober

Write your guide to setting healthy boundaries in relationships.

This is something I’ve been working on for quite some time.

Setting boundries is difficult because a lot of the time it’s between people that are close to us.

When I first became sober I had to have a conversation with a friend about getting together when she drinks. Her and I had a very good drinking relationship but also a friend that I confided in. I had to explain to her that I could not be around her if she was drinking. She was a little taken back but agreed to get together and have tea with me instead. Every Friday night we did that for a year. Until I was secure enough in my sobriety, I had to set those boundries. Not just to my friend but to everyone around me.

We deserve respect and to be free of any unwanted relationship that doesn’t make us feel worthy or respected. If they don’t bring joy and happiness to your life then it’s up to you to set the boundaries of what you expect.

If someone in my life is not treating me with respect, I will bring it to their attention and ask for what I deserve. If they can not, then I have to distance myself from that person. Not out of anger or revenge but for my own mental stability. I want people to treat me with the same respect as I do them.

My husband and I have had to put down some pretty strick boundries with our 30 year old daughter who is in and out of recovery. It has been the most challenging experience we’ve ever had to deal with. We can not threaten to kick her out because we don’t want her on the streets or living in her car or worse, dying. Its not for lack of trying on her part but boundaries have to be there.

Set boundaries:

Right after work she is to come home. Her friends consists of 2 maybe 3 and those are the people who she can spend time with outside the home. She is to attend AA once a week or more and attend therapy.

One of the biggest challenges is what we do if she relapses. Well….we pick up and start again. These boundries are ones that she can handle and ones we are comfortable with. Sure we could kick her out but I’m not willing to accept what could happen.

Boundries are set for emotional well-being. There are rules we have to follow just as boundaries have to be put into place when our peace is at jeopardy or we are being mistreated. Sometimes it may feel selfish but if no one cares for you who will?

The only control people have over us, is the control we give them. KP