Tag: #acceptance

Mental Health

My guide to setting boundries.

beingmesober

Write your guide to setting healthy boundaries in relationships.

This is something I’ve been working on for quite some time.

Setting boundries is difficult because a lot of the time it’s between people that are close to us.

When I first became sober I had to have a conversation with a friend about getting together when she drinks. Her and I had a very good drinking relationship but also a friend that I confided in. I had to explain to her that I could not be around her if she was drinking. She was a little taken back but agreed to get together and have tea with me instead. Every Friday night we did that for a year. Until I was secure enough in my sobriety, I had to set those boundries. Not just to my friend but to everyone around me.

We deserve respect and to be free of any unwanted relationship that doesn’t make us feel worthy or respected. If they don’t bring joy and happiness to your life then it’s up to you to set the boundaries of what you expect.

If someone in my life is not treating me with respect, I will bring it to their attention and ask for what I deserve. If they can not, then I have to distance myself from that person. Not out of anger or revenge but for my own mental stability. I want people to treat me with the same respect as I do them.

My husband and I have had to put down some pretty strick boundries with our 30 year old daughter who is in and out of recovery. It has been the most challenging experience we’ve ever had to deal with. We can not threaten to kick her out because we don’t want her on the streets or living in her car or worse, dying. Its not for lack of trying on her part but boundaries have to be there.

Set boundaries:

Right after work she is to come home. Her friends consists of 2 maybe 3 and those are the people who she can spend time with outside the home. She is to attend AA once a week or more and attend therapy.

One of the biggest challenges is what we do if she relapses. Well….we pick up and start again. These boundries are ones that she can handle and ones we are comfortable with. Sure we could kick her out but I’m not willing to accept what could happen.

Boundries are set for emotional well-being. There are rules we have to follow just as boundaries have to be put into place when our peace is at jeopardy or we are being mistreated. Sometimes it may feel selfish but if no one cares for you who will?

The only control people have over us, is the control we give them. KP

Leisure, Mental Health

I wrote a book!

beingmesober

Hello fellow warrior’s! I hope you’re all striving to be your best selves.

I was sitting here thinking to myself, I can’t believe I haven’t shared that I actually wrote a children’s story. I wrote it in 2021 and it was published in March of 2022. 

If you can think back to that time when not only did we have Covid 19 almost at it’s end and countries getting back to a new normal, there was also a report on a school in Ontario, Canada, about all the indingenous children found buried on properties all over the school grounds. I was mortified and in shock that humans can actually treat others this way, especially inoccent babies, children. Their parents were told their child were missing. I am still in shock as I write this. Since then the Natives have had recognition and acceptance. They are amazingly talented people and have great Heritage. We are here to love one another and accept one another for who we are and the kindness, the helping, and the caring that we should be showing for each other.

I had to do something. It was in me to do something to help. I wanted to send a message but I didn’t know how I would do it.

Along the way in my sobriety journey I picked up a talent I never realized I had and that is Art. Painting, creating. I fell in love with it instantly. I had drawn a picture of a Flamingo one morning and as I sat and observed it, I decided to add a Bumblebee to the picture. All of a sudden the story came to me. Oh, I was excited. That’s how I could get a message out. Write a book! Write it for children so we can teach them about inclusion, diverstiy and caring and most of all acceptance. Mingo N Bumble were born!

Mingo N Bumble

A Flamingo and Bumblebee become friends by not being afraid to ask questions or not befriending a person because of what they look like. Flamingo and Bumblebee are 2 very different beings and I believe expressing it this way to children makes it fun while sending and sharing a message.

I am very proud of what I have written and shared with many people. I didn’t write the book to be known or for the money, I did it because I care for humanity. I did it because it’s something I can leave behind as apart of my legacy. I did it because I love you, all of you.

If you would like to check out my book you can view it on the link below…

https://books.friesenpress.com/store/title/119734000214051206