Tag: #selflove

Mental Health

What I’ve been up to the last couple years…

beingmesober

Hello fellow warrior’s!

I hope you’re all striving to be your best selves!

As you may have read I’ve been getting creative and picked up Art and wrote a children’s book. We now have 7 grandbabies and loving every minute of it.

We moved in both places, here in Ontario and down South. Both were such good decisions. We are closer to our grandsons and our daughter down South and enjoying them tremendously!  

I’ve been watching my kids grow into their 30s and although it’s been a rough road at times, we manage. I try to be open minded and advise them as best I can. I’ve learned to step back and let them figure things out.

Hanging out with my son’s children, 4 and 1, has been wonderful. I love seeing him with his son’s. He interacts with them and plays and disciplines and loves them. Its amazing seeing he turned out that way after the way his father treated him. I worried about that. I prayed he would be a good dad. A good dad is what he is, a good provider and partner. Making Mama proud!

I turned 56 this year! Only 4 years to 60!! Whoohoo!! Hard to believe because I still feel so young. I actually find it comical. Onwards and upwards 🙌

I often think my life started at 40. A year after I left alcohol in the ditch, when I really enjoyed living alcohol free. I stopped thinking and living in the past. Finally having someone who stood by me and loved me and my kids. I have truly never been so adjusted, calm or happy. I’ve never felt I had a home, until I built one, ( not literlly ) with my husband, I was always running or given a reason to run. My life, our life improved tremendously when I got better. I got therapy, I went to AA, I know not for everyone, I had proper support and the right group of friends. I weeded my garden. It took years for me to break free from some toxic relationships but eventually I chose myself and removed what didn’t bring me peace. More weeding.

I have a life I love and that’s from making choices that I didn’t think I needed to make until faced with loosing everything I loved so much. Making choices of who was part of my life. Who deserved a place at my table.

It’s an illness that never goes away but once we get to the better side of it, a new you emerges. The one that you looked for, the one that’s been waiting to flourish, the one that matters.

We all hear the stories of what alcohol did to us but what about the good stuff. The positive and great things that come to our lives when we make that choice to live different and authenticly. Love ourselves enough to be who we are meant to be. Be amazed at what you can do, the potential that lays in you, and the opportunities that come your way. Embrace what life has to offer while we are here. Be the change. Have as much courage to set that drink down, that you did to pick it up for the first time. Think back. Remember how scared you were to drink. What’s gonna happen? It made us sick.

Trust me, it’s far from a boring life. It’s adventurous and so much more than you realize.

But, who am I to say, you should just try it and see for yourself! I dare for you to make a liar out of me 😋 I hope to see you on the other side.

This is, Being Me Sober

Mental Health

My guide to setting boundries.

beingmesober

Write your guide to setting healthy boundaries in relationships.

This is something I’ve been working on for quite some time.

Setting boundries is difficult because a lot of the time it’s between people that are close to us.

When I first became sober I had to have a conversation with a friend about getting together when she drinks. Her and I had a very good drinking relationship but also a friend that I confided in. I had to explain to her that I could not be around her if she was drinking. She was a little taken back but agreed to get together and have tea with me instead. Every Friday night we did that for a year. Until I was secure enough in my sobriety, I had to set those boundries. Not just to my friend but to everyone around me.

We deserve respect and to be free of any unwanted relationship that doesn’t make us feel worthy or respected. If they don’t bring joy and happiness to your life then it’s up to you to set the boundaries of what you expect.

If someone in my life is not treating me with respect, I will bring it to their attention and ask for what I deserve. If they can not, then I have to distance myself from that person. Not out of anger or revenge but for my own mental stability. I want people to treat me with the same respect as I do them.

My husband and I have had to put down some pretty strick boundries with our 30 year old daughter who is in and out of recovery. It has been the most challenging experience we’ve ever had to deal with. We can not threaten to kick her out because we don’t want her on the streets or living in her car or worse, dying. Its not for lack of trying on her part but boundaries have to be there.

Set boundaries:

Right after work she is to come home. Her friends consists of 2 maybe 3 and those are the people who she can spend time with outside the home. She is to attend AA once a week or more and attend therapy.

One of the biggest challenges is what we do if she relapses. Well….we pick up and start again. These boundries are ones that she can handle and ones we are comfortable with. Sure we could kick her out but I’m not willing to accept what could happen.

Boundries are set for emotional well-being. There are rules we have to follow just as boundaries have to be put into place when our peace is at jeopardy or we are being mistreated. Sometimes it may feel selfish but if no one cares for you who will?

The only control people have over us, is the control we give them. KP