Author: beingmesober

I'm finally sober! My life up until I really got sober was in one word, chaotic! I didn't know what stability was. To top off my mess of a childhood, I went straight into a marriage with more abuse and alcoholism. But, what I have today is who I am, who I've become, I am with an amazing (new) husband, we have 4 kids and our fur-baby. It has not been an easy road but I can say it was worth every fight and tear it took to get me here. Sharing my journey with you and my past is not to display it all over the place but to help someone relate to what has happened and where my mind has been while I was drinking and where it is today. Its to give insight to those suffering that if you just keep fighting you can really have the best life you were meant to have. Let's do this!
Leisure, Mental Health

A time I followed my gut and it turned out exactly right?

beingmesober

What’s a time you followed your gut and it turned out to be exactly right?

I would have to say, my gut tells me when to list and where to buy real estate. I’ve somehow had an intuition for just the right time to list our properties and what price point for a fair and quick sell, as well as what area to purchase in. We’ve never over paid or under sold.

It is more than just my gut, it’s doing a lot of  research, driving by communities to see what the area is like, looking into recent solds and checking out what’s listed and for what price and how long its been on the market. Those are all factors.

Overall though, it could be a great neighborhood, the perfect home and my gut will tell me if something is off about the home or the area. I’m able to see a lot of things people may skim over, and I try to stay tuned to my energy. When it comes to living in a home you don’t want bad juju!!

It’s difficult to know when to trust your intuition or “gut” but, 9 times out of 10 our gut is not wrong.

Listen to your body and and gut. Just remember to feed it well!

Mental Health

What media changed how I see the world?

beingmesober

What’s a piece of media (book, movie, song) that changed how you see the world?

The song that that changed the way I see, not necessarily the world, but the world around me.

I Can See Clearly Now, by Johnny Nash. I know the song and knew it before it impacted my life when I got sober. It took awhile for me to see clearly.

When I was deep in recovery and this song played it was one of my sobriety songs. I could see clearly now, the rain has gone, I could see all obstacles in my way, no more dark clouds.

It hit every ounce of me and what I had tolerated, accepted blindly and the way I was numbing myself to the world that I could have. The people who I could see clearly, no blinders on anymore and no more tolerance from what was hurting me deeply emotionally. I didn’t want those dark clouds, the secrets and pretending to be someone I wasn’t.

Sobriety showed me another side of the world we live in. I don’t have to drink to forget what life or the world had done to me and the people I love. I didn’t have to live in fight or flight mode. I didn’t have to carry the secrets that I held for so many years to protect someone who wasn’t willing to change or accept accountability. 

Music is my therapy. I feel it in my soul and sing to the heavens. My parents always loved music and played it all the time. I heard the song many many times but it hit differently when I changed and boy did that song resonate!

Another song is A Wonderful World. It is a wonderful world when you see clearly.

Some messages we get while here on earth are meant just for you.

Leisure

What languages I speak and how it’s impacted my life?

beingmesober

Which languages do you speak and how did that impact your life?

Sorry to disappoint but, I only speak English.  Boring ol English. I am a Canadian but do not speak French. French is one of the country’s two official languages and was taught in elementary school but optional after grade 10.

It is said that English is the hardest language to learn because there are so many hidden letters and multiple meanings for the same word. It is tricky. Like, Know, No. Where, Wear. Knife – silent K…Knit – silent K again…etc..

It really hasn’t impacted my life not learning another language because I am not an adventurous traveler. I’m pretty much a home body. It doesn’t mean I don’t love going to the Caribbean or Mexico. Sure! Let’s go! I knew I always wanted to be a mom and eventually become a Realtor, so another language was never something I focused on. I didn’t need to.

If the question today was, “Whats a language you wish you learned when you were younger?” I would say Spanish. I love their accent and language. When you greet them they are always so happy and upbeat.

I do know a few words like, hello, how are you, one zero beer please! You know the important stuff, and where’s the bathroom! And of course, Thank you.

It is wonderful to learn a new language. It just gets a little more difficult when we become older, but doesn’t mean we shouldn’t learn. It could have a very positive impact that we didn’t know we possibly could use one day.

Hummm, maybe I should look into taking Spanish lessons. 🤔

Gracias, que tenga un buen día!

Leisure, Mental Health

The best advice I’d give a younger person.

beingmesober

What’s the best advice you’d give to someone younger than you?

The advice I would give to someone younger than me would probably sound a lot like what our parents or grandparents told us.

Don’t rush into marriage, kids, house, dogs etc. Save your money, be independent and so on. This is all good advise but what about living your authentic life?

I would tell them to be true to themselves, love yourself through and through to be able to give your heart to someone else fully and completely. Be who you want to be and don’t let anyone crush your dreams. Its okay to say no. Be mindful of your friends because not everyone is. Don’t trust so easy and ask lots of questions. Don’t be afraid to be silly and crazy every once and awhile, it’s good for our inner child. Listen to your intuition and your parents. We’ve been your age, we know! Always be respectful to everyone that deserves your respect but give yourself the same. Keep learning through life, keep reading and spend more time in nature than on your devices. Learn to communicate and express how you feel, think before you speak or react. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made and let go. If you need help, ask.

Lastly, i would tell a younger person that it will all be okay. Just make the right choices, live life to the fullest and take care of you first. Give 100% to yourself before you give 100% to someone else.

Keep smiling 😃

Mental Health

My top tip to being successful in life…

beingmesober

What’s your top tip to be successful in life?

My top tip. I don’t think of just 1 tip. It takes many factors to be successful. One that stands out is fear.

Fear will stop you in your tracks. Thinking no one will like what your offering, what will they say, what will they think of me. Those are all mind games. All the “what ifs”.

If you’re passionate about something and want to be successful, dive in. Just do it! The worse judge is yourself and the negative thoughts that come with trying to be successful.

Grab your passion, your knowledge, be consistent and determined, loose the fear and you will succeed.

Success doesn’t always have to be about a job. It applies to everything in life. Your relationships or your goals.

No matter what it is you want to succeed at never let fear stand in your way.

Leisure

A book, a movie or TV show I wish I could experience again for the first time?

beingmesober

What’s a book, movie, or TV show that you wish you could experience again for the first time?

Sitcoms back in the 80s and 90s. It was all about TV. The great series of shows or sitcoms. The Young and The Restless. Family Ties, Knotts Landing, Dallas….

I loved coming home at lunch and watching the Flintstones or Leave it To Beaver. I sometimes wish to go back there. It was simple and it meant watching TV or movies with your family. That’s what I miss. Not so much the shows but the time together. Today we are distracted by our phones or just not settling enough or too busy to make the time. There are so many distractions compared to back then.

To me, remembering tv, and or movies is not so much about the shows, it was about who I watched the shows or movies with.

Keep those memories and cherish them because one day you may think about those times and it really may have nothing to do with the TV or movie, just the bonding itself was what it was about.

Leisure, Mental Health

A common misconception people have about happiness?

beingmesober

What’s a common misconception people have about happiness?

Its the big one, Money Will Make Me Happy! If I just had more. If I get that new boat, house, car….

We’ve all heard that. There are so many things we think will make us happy or, happier.  Its never something you can buy, practice or fake. 

Are you happy a little, or happy, or whole heartedly happy?

There’s only one way to be truly happy and that’s to love. Love yourself, love others and be grateful. Be grateful and love what you have,not what you don’t.

Happiness comes from within, your inner peace and happiness.

You can find happiness by doing things for others and not expecting anything in return. Paying forward. Loving and supporting one another. Smiling and saying hello to a passer by. Letting a car merge in-front of you when you can see their blinker….don’t speed up, don’t curse and yell at the person who clearly cannot hear you. You get it!

Myself, I’m a happy person.  Thankfully. There are days, like today, you’d think I was miserable. But if you knew me you’d know why I am in a mood, but I get through and know tomorrow is a new day and it will be better!

Is that happiness or optimism 🤔?

I know money or status will not bring happiness. Those are temporary. I know happiness is a gift and not always granted so easily for some, but if you open your heart and look within, you’ll find some happy there.

Leisure, Mental Health, Stages

What skill would I master if I could and why?

beingmesober

If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be and why?

Carpentry is a skill I wish I could instantly master!

I’ve always been passionate about interior design, but as I’ve gotten older and expanded my inner designer, I’ve wished I was a carpenter or wood worker.

It became something I’ve wanted to do when I started my Art journey. I wanted to be able to do my own frames or cool wood signs, maybe hairing bone patterns or just being able to master the right cuts. Math was not my forte in school and has not improved over the years, lol. All the inches and mm, cm, ugh…My mind goes fuzzy!

My husband and I have renovated, gutted and beautified 5 homes since we’ve been together over the last 20 years. It has been both stressful and exhilarating! I absolutely love revitalizing old outdated homes to bring them back to life. We’ve been very fortunate to be able to do this. Its not cheap and finding the right contractors is also a chore. We’ve been very lucky. 

There’s also a mastery when renovating homes and reselling. We are not home flippers, I am just someone who has visions of design in any home I’m in. But when doing this you have to be mindful of how much to invest in your home to be able to profit when selling. NEVER over design. Always keep in mind the necessities of a home to max out. Little details add a lot of value.

Watching the contractors do their magic has often made me wish I knew carpentry. If I could turn back time just a little I think I would have loved to be a home builder. Maybe in my next lifetime!

There’s still time for me to pick up that skill saw and make those cuts, but I think at this point in my 56 years I will leave it to the professionals.

Mental Health

One way I’ve grown this year.

beingmesober

What is one way you have grown this year?

The year feels like it’s just begun and here we are half way through.

This prompt ties in again with the other prompts we’ve had about boundries and looking back to our younger selves.

This year I’ve learned to set boundaries without guilt. Without letting whatever it is slide or make excuses.

I’ve grown this year to be more selfish and not offer myself to those who do not respect me. I was unable to do that before and I wasn’t fully happy. I was always on high alert waiting for something to happen, in certain situations. I would avoid a conversation so there was no conflict. I was not respecting myself enough to say enough is enough.

With having grown in that way it’s also helped me communicate better. I am speaking up when something bothers me, instead of avoiding and harboring. I’ve learned to give space and stop trying to fix what I can not fix. I’ve learned that I can’t be the net for my adult kids. They have to fly and I have to know they will still be there when I say no. Eventually they will respect me more for it in the end because I’m allowing them to grow as well.

Mental Health

What is something I would tell my 20 year old self?

beingmesober

What is something you wish you could tell your 20-year-old self?

When I think back to when I was 20, it gives me butterflies and anxiety. The pit in my stomach thinking back to that time 36 years ago.

I was existing then. Lonely, alone and trying to understand things I couldn’t process.

I was in hair dressing school/beauty school! Living at my boyfriend’s with his parents. I had been couch surfing for a year at that time. When I look back I can’t believe the life I was living at such a young age. Being kicked out at 18, my father living in the States and no relationship with my mother. I didnt want to go to the States with my father because I didn’t want to go back to the life I had had with my father. The nights I would be woken up to the loud screams and yelling, begging him to stop, he was hurting her, my father abusing his wife. I couldn’t and wouldn’t go back.

My stepmother had sold our family home and moved with my sister. I had no relationship with either of them at that time. I never lost my up beat happy self. I just went through life in flight or fight mode.

What would I say to myself at 20?

This isn’t the only struggle you will have but you are strong and capable of great things. Trust your instincts and intuition. Don’t pick up that bottle of wine to escape your abusive marriage. Leave him. You’re not alone. You are worthy and loved.

You will have the proper people in your life and in time you will have the life you’ve always wanted. Stay strong and stay soft. Accept people and things the way they are and don’t make excuses for people that don’t deserve it. Be true and love yourself. Love yourself enough to have the wonderful life thats waiting for you. One day you will stop running. One day you will be at peace and have so much more life to live.